Previously on

Lest anyone remain in any doubt following my ramblings and gibberings in the last two posts, a decision has been made as to what to do next. That decision was actually made a little while ago. We're going to try treatment.

That was always the original plan, so we're not really veering off our chosen course. I was simply trying to explain why I felt there was rather a lot riding on getting it right, whichever way we went.

If you're wondering why on earth I didn't just spit it out earlier- well, if nothing else, blogging allows you to be the editor in the telling of your own story. And I confess to taking a small amount of satisfaction in drawing out the tale in true serial soap opera fashion. Just wait until we get to the next chapter- there might be a cliffhanger every month! Oh, what fun for you and for me.

Also, it took me over a month of teeth gnashing and nail biting, plus gut wrenching talks with E. to reach this conclusion. It only seems fair that you should be kept wondering for two posts or so. I might have written it all a bit quicker, but somehow having to go to work every day can knock the stuffing out a decent writing schedule, you know?

I was thinking this morning that sometimes it must be tricky if you are new to someone's blog. How do you to pick up the thread? I mean, in some cases, there can be months of complicated backstory to wade through. Imagine if you missed a key detail, like the shot of the sled in Citizen Kane.

We're all so used to handy recaps at the start of a new episode in a TV series, with Voice-Over Man intoning, "Previously on...." We get brief clips to help us fill in the blanks, just in case the TiVo failed, or we were in the bathroom or making a cup of tea duing the crucial moments in the last show.

Maybe I'll start doing that at the beginning of every month. It might be really boring at first, though.

"Previously on Barren Mare... the intrepid couple tried to get pregnant. Yet again, they could not. There were tears. There was some comfort food. There were attempts to grapple the heart's emotions into a headlock. There were hackneyed metaphors employed at every turn. TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR...oh, more of the same."

Zzzz. No wonder the Neilsen ratings are in the dumper. Maybe we could go one step further, and hire Movie Trailer Guy. Do you know who I mean? Every time you go to the movies, it's always the same voice booming out during the trailers before the main feature begins. And it always starts with some cheesy synopsis of the film, accompanied by stirring music. For example:

"In a world... where every day is fight to the death....where giant racoons roam the earth...where hard men are driven to harder choices.... a new kind of hero will rise to LEAD THEM ALL OUT OF THE DARKNESS..."

E. and I are obsessed with Movie Trailer Guy. Sometimes, when we're driving, or engaged in some really banal task, one of us will suddenly turn to the other and intone deeply,

"IN A WORLD...where every bend in the road uncovers another pothole...where making a left turn at the junction is a fight to the death...a lone driver will beat the odds, survive the traffic and arrive at the destination... ON TIME."

Try it sometime, it's very amusing and entertaining.