Barren Mare: Excess baggage

Having wooed my readers and muffins over to the new site, I am now promptly going to piss off on holiday for a week. I'll be back on 13 March.

[Aside: I realised awhile ago that the term "piss off" can sometimes be confusing for some of my American friends. Here, it means "go away". Skedaddle. Beat it. Make like a tree and leave. Hasta la vista, baby. As opposed to "I'm pissed off, which means what you think it means. It can get a bit complex if I were to say, for example, "I'm so pissed off that I pissed off". But please, let's not tax our tiny minds too much for one afternoon.]

The holiday plan was originally to go to Marrakech for a week, to stay in a luxurious boutique hotel. Wander the market places, soak up the sun and the atmosphere. Then we looked at how much all this was going to cost. Then we looked at how much upcoming ART and other assorted medical expenses may cost.

And then we promptly booked a week in a scabby wee cottage in the north of Scotland in Auchterfachterdrumachter on the shores of Loch Ochayethenoo. A cottage with no phone, no television and no broadband.

We've been trying to talk ourselves into How! Much! Fun! this will be. A great getaway from everything! Note my emphatic exclamation points! We'll be taking lots of books, our coziest sweaters, and our wellie boots. As well as my old Yahtzee! game and some nice food. And most importantly, a crate of whiskey.

E. keeps mumbling something about "fishing rods" and "bracing walks and fresh air", but LALALALA, I am ignoring him. HE can go for bracing walks if he so chooses. I will be napping. I'm also going to take a pen and paper and write stuff down the old fashioned way, which should be very amusing and rather novel.

All of these holiday plans raise a topic which has irritated me for some time. And that is an assumption, frequently vocalised by people with children- namely, that aren't we childless couples so lucky, because we can go on all these "exotic European vacations". How fortunate we are that instead of being weighed down by the tedious baggage of family and responsibility, we can flit off at a moment's notice for shagtastic mini-breaks in delicious Parisian guesthouses and palatial Italian villas. Cruises! African safaris! Hot air ballooning! River rafting down the Nile! Ah, the world is our oyster and we can roam at will wherever and whenever it takes our fancy.

Now. I don't know about you, but personally, being childless has neither absolved me of all responsibilities in life or turned me into a multimillionaire/five star jetsetter.

Yes, it is true that we do enjoy a certain amount of freedom to take trips. And, apart from the looming financial doom of IVF, E. and I do have a certain amount of disposable income to spend on such jaunts. But despite all that, and despite having generous amounts of vacation time, we aren't in a position to gallivant off whenever we feel like it. We have our own excess baggage to contend with.

For one thing, going away gets hellavuh expensive. The cost of flights and travel generally has gone up recently, and even to go away a few times a year on a short break becomes a very pricey endevour.

Secondly, like most people, there's a certain amount of stuff that has to get dealt with, both day-to-day and long term. We both have heavy work commitments that mean we can't just disappear on a whim. Any time off we take has to factor in our obligations to our employers and colleagues.

Plus, shit happens to eat into the holiday time, and that's before we even get to inferility appointments and treatments. Weddings and funerals, for example. Staying home one afternoon to let the repair guy in to fix the leaking roof. DIY projects that entail a solid block of time, like re-decorating the whole of E.'s flat in the OC.

Leaving all of that aside, tell me. Do these people really mean to suggest that two weeks sipping pink cocktails at a seaside resort in the south of France once or twice a year is meant to compensate for an entire lifetime without children, if in fact children is what you desire ? Sure, for some, particularly those who actively opt to live childfree, the whole travel freedom thing is a major perk. I'm talking about people like myself who would quite happily trade a big chunk of that freedom to be able to have a family.

I'm not saying I would want to be shackled to the confines of my house with a baby forever. But last I checked, giving birth did not mean automatic house arrest. Surely people with kids get out once in awhile?

I bet they even sometimes rent scabby wee cottages in the arse end of Scotland, and go away for a week, packing games, fishing rods and wellie boots.

Comments

Have a wonderful vacation!! Love the wellies. I will definitely miss reading your updates but look forward to the details of the Scottish coast!!! I am also going on vacation and won't be back till the 20th... ah, the joys of having no children (yeah right!) if I had a nickel for everytime someone has said that to me..... I'd be going on a lot more fabulous trips!!

Anna

Posted by: Anna | March 03, 2005 at 08:00 PM

OMG, I love the wellie site. (Although sadly even I can't justify buying any.)

But have a great holiday, hope you return on the 13th all pink cheeked and refreshed.

Must sign off now, as I'm just about to jet off to New York for the weekend. Well, one has to do something with all one's free time and money. (I bloody wish)

Posted by: ms pickled eggs | March 03, 2005 at 08:52 PM

Have fun on your trip with your sweaters and wellie boots (here is a link to mine) http://www.burberryusaonline.com/product/index.jsp?productId=1882839&cp=1863803.1862187&page=4&pageBucket=0&parentPage=family

Yes, I know it is a sickness. While you are gone I will be, of course, planning my next trip jetting off to Paris to sit in the sidewalk cafes amongst the beautiful people and smoke cigarettes with those long holder things and think about out FABULOUS my life is with no children to muck it up.

Posted by: Amyesq | March 03, 2005 at 09:03 PM

Sweet wellies, Mare. Now piss off and have a great time.

Posted by: Danae | March 04, 2005 at 12:09 AM

NO PHONE? NO TELEVISION? NO BROADBAND?

I'm sorry...still trying to absorb that.

Posted by: deborah | March 04, 2005 at 01:40 AM

Hey, maybe while you're gone you can just relax and...

Joking! I was joking! Stop hitting me with your wellies! Ouch!

Posted by: dish | March 04, 2005 at 03:37 PM

Piss off!

And you made those names up.

Posted by: Soper | March 04, 2005 at 04:52 PM