Alas for the cup of joe

In the countdown to ART lift-off, I've been re-assessing the overall health and nutritional habits of both myself and E. Of course, I did this when we first started trying, and all sort of peculiar items crept into the fridge and the vitamin cabinet, such as baby carrots and bulk multi-packs of green tea. Then, after months and months of drinking grapefruit juice and religiously taking my evening primrose oil, I got tired of all that shit, and eased off. I figured it was part of the "just relax" programme- if I didn't consciously spend every waking hour priming my body for pregnancy, maybe it would just happen when I wasn't looking.

Or not.

However, in light of the impending IVF, I do think it is an opportune time to think again about whether there is anything we could do to possibly improve our chances. I'm not saying I suddenly want to become organic-only vegan or similar. Hats off to those who manage to maintain that kind of healthy eating regime, but I have enough trouble organising the eating of three squares a day without introducing any extra palaver. Besides, my life is enough of a fun-free zone at the moment as it is. But then again, I also want to make an effort to avoid anything that might actively fuck it up for us.

To that end, and with no small amount of reluctance, I have decided to make a major sacrifice and....gulp...give up coffee. As in...NO COFFEE! AIEEEEE!

This is partly due a sort of stubborn inner voice demanding that I prostrate myself before the Fertility Gods by offering up something I love in exchange for their blessings. But I'm also a pragmatist who dismisses as that as a lot of foolish nonsense- I mean, isn't going through IVF enough as it is? DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE MY SOUL AS WELL?

No, it's more down to what to what I have read about the effects of caffeine on fertility, and on IVF generally. The consensus from Dr Google seems to be that it is preferable to either limit or cut down on caffeine during treatment- that statistically, those women who drink caffeine are less likely to get pregnant, or to more likely to miscarry than women who don't.

I don't drink that much coffee- one strong one in the morning is usually all- but I love the ritual of making a cup in my red fire engine of a espresso machine. It cheers me to up when I stagger out of bed in the morning to know I have such a beautiful implement at my disposal for my coffee needs. I love the taste and smell of coffee, not to mention the restorative effects. I love the social aspects- team meetings at work are invariably held in the coffee shop so we can all partake of a cuppa joe together with a scone with the size and consistency of a concrete brick.

I love coffee enough that I know giving it up is going to give me some funky withdawal symptons. The last time I tried to detox (about five years ago) I got a headache so bad that I had to stagger down to the local pharmacy to score some extra strong headache tablets. I was so grey, pale and sweaty that the owner thought I was some sort of deranged junkie and almost wouldn't sell me the painkillers. So if it weren't for the two month interval, I probably wouldn't even be attempting to give it up completely.

You see, my plan is to wean myself off gradually by mixing decaf into what would otherwise be a fully caffeinated cup. I can control the decaf/caff ration until I am nearly detoxed, and then can switch to decaf for a bit, and then onto something even healthier like... er, hot water with lemon (bleccccch).

E. was very impressed when I told him this. So much so that he decided to help by going out and purchasing multiple bags of coffee in varying strengths. He came home over the weekend with a bag of normal strength coffee, a bag of what we call "50/50" - that is half full caffeine and half decaf, and a bag of basic decaf.

Unfortunately, what followed on led to us having a further "failure to communicate". That afternoon, I decided I really wanted a cup of coffee, but that it would be good to start the decaf program right away. So I opened the bag of decaf. Only as soon as I had done so, I saw that it looked like E. had opened the 50/50 bag the night before and had poured it into one of the tupperware tubs that we use for coffee storage. We also had a half a jar of full (espresso strength) coffee already open.

Typically, I then could not find another tupperware with a lid. What's with that? We have about a million little plastic containers sitting in the drawer, and can I ever ever find a lid when I need one? No. I could not. Nor could I manage to get the decaf bag re-sealed. So in a fit of pique, I poured the decaf onto the half filled espresso jar and stuck in back in the fridge. I told E. what I had done when he saw the decaf bag open.

"Where did you put it?" he asked warily, as if I had planted a dead rat somewhere amongst our food stores.

"In the espresso jar," I confirmed, pointing to it.

However, the next morning, I decided it was a bad idea to have the decaf on top of the full strength. The idea was to gradually mix full caff with decaf- and the full caf was now buried under a mound of the horrid decaf stuff. So in a further fit of growling, I poured out the decaf-contaminated contents into the 50/50 tub.

And then forgot to mention it to E. Who had a killer headache that day. I couldn't see why that should be the result of making coffee taken from what I thought was the 50/50 tub, and we proceeded to have the most ridiculous conversation trying to get to the bottom of how this happened.

"You see, I mixed the decaf with the full caf, then changed my mind and mixed with the half caf, " I explained.

"The full caf? Or the half caf?"

"The half caf in that tub there," I said

"That's the full caff," E. said.

"No, the full caff is there. Until I moved it."

"They are both full caf. Until you mixed it to make it into 50/50".

"It already was 50/50. I just put the decaf on top."

"But it was full caf," he said

"No, the full caf is here, but it was half full until I filled with decaf. The I filled the half caf full of decaf."

And so it went. We finally worked out between us about half an hour later, with some shouting and arm-waving for good measure, that the 50/50 bag remained unopened and we were dealing with two containers of fully caffeinated coffee, plus some decaf mixed in.

God help us if we have to mix IVF meds.

Comments

[Megan]

Just beware that a lot of headache meds have caffeine in them as well - I'm not sure which, but it might be worthwhile to research that.

Good luck!

[Emily]

Good luck...I know how hard that can be. It was hard for my husband, but don't get too worked up about the 'caffeine' thing because I don't drink any (don't like coffee or tea and my consumption of diet sodas is way, way low) and I've never been able to get or stay pregnant, so don't freak yourself out about it.

Kiss.

[MsPrufrock]

I reluctantly gave up coffee during my 2nd IUI, for all the good it did me. Here I am, facing IVF and I've started drinking it again. I know it's bad, bad, bad, but it tastes soooo good! I hope to stop drinking it again once IVF commences, though I might die of old age by then.

[AmyW]

I LOVE coffee. It moves me. I love the smell, the taste, the act of setting up my machine the night before and smelling it freshly brewed for me when I wake in the morning.

I switched to "half caf" two weeks ago, and tomorrow morning will begin with the fully decaf stuff. All in the name of our IVF. Good luck to you, my decaffienated sister!

[Amyesq]

My head is spinning after reading your post. I think I need a cup of coffee.

[ova girl]

Oh god yes, the giving up of the coffee.
We were big coffee drinkers espresso our drug of choice although I moved into soy lattes because i argued it was a bit healthier... chinese fertility goddess stopped all that carry on.(And gave us coffee coloured fertility teas to drink-yuk)

We went from full strength to 50/50 and then to decaff and finally we have both given up. And we were big addicts. We've got several beautiful coffee makers and 100s of beautiful little cups. All in storage. A cup of green tea gets me so high now it's ridiculous. Sometimes, like once a month, C has a decaff (me too) and he has been known (once) to go back to the real deal on a long driving trip (me not).

The CFG also said however...if you really really want a cup of coffee... have one. Be happy!

Good luck. And be happy!

[patricia]

I swear to you. One cup of coffee a day will not make any difference. I do not know one woman who totally gave up coffee who became pregnant. Maybe more than one is bad, but don't stress yourself out. We all know you are already way to stressed out already or you would be pregnant. Right?

[patricia]

I swear to you. One cup of coffee a day will not make any difference. I do not know one woman who totally gave up coffee who became pregnant. Maybe more than one is bad, but don't stress yourself out. We all know you are already way to stressed out already or you would be pregnant. Right?

[Sandy]

Naturally, I was drinking a cup of (decaf) coffee while reading this and my screen almost wore it! I can so see this scene carried out in my own kitchen!

[Soper]

You know what I noticed today? Neither one of our new posts is showing up on Bloglines -- hence the answer to the mystery of why our stats are down.

Hmmm.

I went off coffee for like two years while we tried to get pregnant, and all I got was a headache. And a lot of sleep.

You are so funny.

[Jen]

Yes, but where did you put the chicken, the fox, and the grain?

No?

Perhaps I have picked up your missing coffee habit--I was off the stuff for the last two freaking years (would still have a cup or two on weekends, but was off it otherwise), and you can see how that worked for me...so last month, I went back to my dark love, and I feel a lot more human. Of course, if we do IVF, I will probably cut it out, but for now I love being greeted in the morning by a strong cup of milky, hot coffee.

Incidentally, my father the psychologist once decided to try an experiment with my mom, and (without telling her; intentionally) switched them to decaf one day. My poor mother thought she was losing it--she had terrible headaches, was tired all the time, grumpy and irritable. My father learned from this two things: her caffeine addiction was physical, not psychological, and if he ever pulled a stunt like that again, he'd be out on the street. My sympathies to you and E.

Good luck to you, my dear.

[deborah]

Never been much of a coffee drinker myself...Diet Coke was my evil addiction. And I'm talking, like, 60 ounces of the shit every day. I gave it up with both of my IVF cycles. Interestingly enough, however, I didn't give up my wine this last time around. Truth be told, I actually drank MORE than normal (which is a lot, trust me). So I'm a big believer in doing whatever makes you happy.

Sorry I'm so late to the party, but as Soper pointed out, this post isn't showing up in Bloglines. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see whatever it is I've been missing out on at Ute Wars.

[cass]

Ah yes, the coffee thing. I gave up caffeinated coffee about 6 months ago (after a couple of on-again, off-again periods). But then my acupuncturist asked me to cut out even the decaf. Now THAT was hard. I do so like the smell of coffee. And the ritual of drinking it. And I think my productivity may be down since then. But since I've also cut dairy out of my diet, I'm not missing the coffee as much, since I liked it VERY creamy, and soy milk is just not the same.

[dish]

I decided to wean myself off of caffeine when we were doing the treatments on the off chance that it actually worked (it did, but I have no reason to believe it was the caffeine). Before that I had been drinking 50/50 because my stomach can't take full octane any more (stupid stomach) but I had to have some energy. I drank decaf coffee only for the longest time, but now I am sneaking in a bit of the regular in my decaf and sometimes having a caffeinated soda that also has (gasp) artificial sweeteners (I eliminated those too- which sucked more than anything).

I say do what makes **you** feel good about your upcoming treatment.

[Pamplemousse]

The bastard metformin won't let me drink coffee anymore. Give me a nice cup of tea though any day! I ain't giving that up. What would I do at work?

[Heidi]

Be prepared for more insanely agonizing moments/discussions AFTER you give up the joe. I was one cranky bitch for about 3 days after I went cold turkey. I am now back to one glorious cup a day (sometimes when I'm feeling wild, two). I love, love, love my coffee. I feel your pain.

[Kristin]

You are much stronger than I am. I could never give up my coffee. My working theory is that my coffee/caffeine consumtion is the same now as it was before sif struck so, therefore, it has nothing to do with it. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.

[Julia S]

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm, ok.

If you did not give up coffee and the IVF failed would you always wonder if it might have made a difference? Then that is all that matters. I do not approve of this crazy decision of yours, but I (of course) support you in it.

PARTICULARLY if the withdrawl from caffeine will lead to more conversations like the one you and E just had...

[ManhattanAnne]

Too funny. FWIW, I read somewhere that the correlation between miscarriage and coffee drinking has nothing to do with caffeine, but rather with the fact that coffee is naturally bitter and thus that anyone who can still stand to smell/drink it while pregnant may not be prodcuing enough of the hormones that usually create pregnancy nausea. That said, I love coffee normally, can't stand it pregnant, throw my own guts up regardless, and miscarry every time anyway...

[Danae]

I agree with Julia. Do whatever feels right to you, so you won't 'what if' yourself later. By the way, I gave up coffee a few months ago and I'm actually sipping a cup of hot lemon water as I type. Heh. The things we do.

[Joie]

I was a far gone addict until last summer when I decided to ease off of coffee to increase our chances of conceiving. It was excruciatingly difficult and I miss it SO. I mostly miss the ritual of it and I feel left out of a whole coffee culture (you must realize, I live in the Pacific NW, Starbucks mecca, where coffee IS culture). So, every morning I drink my decaf green tea and about once a month splurge and have some coffee on the weekend and GO NUTS from jitters, but get a lot done. And still not pregnant...

[usako]

haha, the conversation gave me a laugh as i stare out my window at starbucks 100 metres away.
thanks, and good luck =)

[Thalia]

I tried to give up coffee and am drinking a lot less, but failed to let go of it completely, mostly because the data doesn't say that I have to, so I'm not. I have taken up green tea for it's lovely EWCM producing properties, and drink at least 2 cups a day of that. I know it contains caffeine, but I figure the other effects outweigh that.

The thing I did manage to do is give up diet coke. I still miss it.

As everyone else has said, YMMV

[Emma Jane]

Go slow and careful on your detox! After my first IVF, I took over two months to taper down, via the sort of grounds-mixing you're talking about, from one latte in the morning to one decaf latte in the morning. No headaches at all, and I slept much better at night. I think I was awfully sensitive, that even the one shot in the morning was enough to give me insomnia.

I'm not religious about the whole thing. Full-caff coffee might kill me now, but I do have an occasional cup of tea.

But no one can take my decaf lattes away from me. (Another reason to avoid acupuncturists? As if the needles weren't enough?)

[aboutgolf]

Today was a loss. I just don't have anything to say. Not that it matters.