Driving, dancing and failing to communicate

We had quite an enjoyable time at the wedding this weekend. The weather wasn't great, but apart from that, the happy event itself was- well- happy. The bride was glowing, but not yet showing, to my secret inner relief. It transpired they had actually been trying for eighteen months, which softened my mood toward the "news". My mood, and indeed my general ability to stand upright, were then softened even further by the night-long free bar at the reception.

The only downside was the sheer amount of driving to get there and back- five hours each way. I had rather envisaged that we would use the time to have a long, heartfelt discussion about our lives, our careers, our impending IVF.

However, I had forgotten my famous status as the Passenger Most Likely to Fall Asleep on Long Car Journeys- or else lapse into a sort of comatose trance as the miles pass by. I don't know what it is about being a car that makes me so...sleepy. It's always been that way. Since poor E. was doing all the driving, I did do my best to at least try to stay conscious. But my inherent travel-induced doziness meant in-depth conversation was somewhat limited. Instead we just played Rufus Wainwright over and over again, drinking endless cups of coffee from the thermos.

We did have a short discussion about why we were driving in the first place, as opposed to flying. It's really not a very interesting conversation, but I'll tell you anyway.

"How come we didn't fly down?" E. asked.

"Because it was too expensive. We left it too late to book it. However, if we had booked it when we first received the invitation, it would have been cheaper than a Starbucks latte," I replied.

"You never told me that it was cheap to fly when the invitation came."

"I did. I checked it right away and I told you. I told you, and you said you had check your desk diary and think about whether we could go away that weekend. And by the time you made up your mind that we could, it was more expensive."

"No, you never told me about the cheapness," E said.

"Did so. "

"Did not. You failed to communicate that."

"Yes, I did tell you."

"Did not."

And so on. See? I told you it was very boring. I think I may have even fallen asleep halfway through that conversation, that's how dull it was.

Apparently, I also "failed to communicate" a number of other things over the weekend, such as that we needed to get our stub stamped at the hotel every time we went in and out of the parking garage if we wanted a discount on the fee.

When I was not "failing to communicate", I was "failing to retain key information", such as the location of the pub where people were gathering before the start of the wedding. Why it should have been my sole responsibility to retain and communciate all this vital information remains something of an unfathomable mystery. Makes me think we have a few things to work on in that department before the IVF fun and games start in June.

Lastly, I did tell a fellow wedding guest about the IVF. It was an ideal opportunity, actually. I really just wanted to hear myself say the words out loud, to see how I felt and what the reaction might be. But I also wanted to try it out on somebody who I probably wouldn't see again in the near future, or possibly, see ever again.

It was all very anti-climactic really. He nodded in a detached, slightly sympathetic way- as if I had just announced that my pantyhose were cutting off the blood supply to my lower extremities- before returning to his beer-soaked rambling about the demise of his relationship. Just as I was about to seriously consider impaling myself on the leftover toothpicks from the buffet table to break up the monologue, E. rescued me for a giddy twirl around the dance floor.

And suddenly, happily, no words were needed.

Comments

[Amyesq]

Sounds nice, actually. And how funny is it to talk about the IVF to a stranger. I did that two weeks ago to those two guys I saw in a restaurant who adopted from Mexico. "I am adopting from China!" it felt so weird yet cool to say that - before my sister knew, before my best friend knew.. hey, that's what drunken strangers are for, right? I mean, they used to be for other things... before I was in a serious relationship.. but nice they can still be put to good use.

[Wavery]

I swear I've had that conversation with my husband with astonishing frequency as of late.

[Anna H.]

The thought of you and E in a giddy twirl... lovely.

xxoo

[Kristin]

A giddy twirl around a dance floor...what a perfectly lovely way to spend time. I miss dancing with my husband (since he injured his knee).

[Pamplemousse]

I am glad that you had a good time in the end (free bar!!!) and that you uttered the dreaded out loud to a safe ear. And twirling!! Fantastic.

[patricia]

My husband adamantly denies hearing at least half of what I say to him. Often I have repeated it several times. He grew up in a family where his mother takes care of everything. His dad can hardly pick up the phone and certainly needs to ask her for the phone number he needs dial. Sad. And now history is repeating itself.