The weather is pregnant, wish we weren't here

Mother's Day was relatively trauma free for me. OK, well, I cheated a little. Strictly speaking, it was not Mother's Day at all here in the UK.  For reasons which I have never quite understood, the British celebrate their mothers in March sometime- and I wasn't paying enough attention then to notice or care.

That doesn't mean I get out of it completely.  Oh no.  My mother lives in the States, and she very much adheres to the policy that maternal location should be the deciding factor for observance of that particular holiday.  And I learned a long time ago that life is too short to argue with my mother.

Any pangs I might have otherwise had about Mother's Day were neatly nullified by a monstrous hangover.  We went to a party on Saturday and got rat-arsed, complete with silly dancing.  Since I took you all at your word in the comments on the last post- you know, about the drinking more, and the jumping up and down.  It was a gathering of young, terminally hip thirty-somethings, none of whom evince the slightest inclination to have kids.  Which, as a battle-weary infertile, I find quite refreshing.

Interestingly, as E. and I stood in the kitchen (where all the best parties inevitably end up), a very drunken girl began flirting shamelessly with him.  This being a small country, it turns out that they had met once before some years ago (in a bar) via certain mutual acquaintances.  Obviously, whatever went on that night was enough (in her mind) to warrant an astonishing amount of eyelash fluttering and quick pats on his arm.  Flutter, flutter, touchy-touchy.  As a rule,  I am not particularly territorial about these things.  I accept that of course E. is a Sex God, and naturally women will throw themselves at him in an unseemly fashion.  But for heaven's sake, I was standing right there, rolling my eyes!  E. was his typically oblivious self- all he had to say afterwards was that she seemed "quite drunk".  Yeah. Uh huh.   

Another thing I have discovered recently is that after a few glasses of wine, I am handing out IVF revelations like party dip.  I may as well have taken out a full page ad in the local paper, there are so few people left in my social circle (or indeed, my immediate vicinity at any given time) who don't know.   

Thing is, it's still just so much easier for me to tell, particularly when confronted with the endless fascination in this country with the topic of summer holidays.  Virtually everyone I know takes a two week vacation between June-September, moving in a lemming-like mass to warmer climes or more exotic locales over these months.

So naturally this becomes a primary conversational cannon fodder for just about every social situation or encounter- wherever you go, whoever you meet.  Friends.  Colleagues. Taxi drivers.  Hairdressers.  Dentists. Plumber and TV repairmen.  Where are you going this year?  Oh, we went there two years ago. Yes, it was nice, we rented a place in so and so, and did this and that.  Oh, really? We were thinking of doing that, but instead we decided take an extra few days and see such and such. Oh, very nice. 

For us, however, it is nigh on impossible to plan a vacation this summer, because there are so many unknowns and variables.  We don't know exactly when IVF will commence, and we don't know if it will work. I could be pregnant by August, maybe-or, you know, not.  In which case we have to figure out what next, and as those of you who have been following along know, this might include a treatment cycle in America.  Thus foregoing a goodly chunk of my yearly holiday allowance.  And all of which means putting any holiday plans on the back burner for the time being.

So as an easy bypass to all that fruitless holiday chat, I can kibosh that entire conversational gambit with one quick IVF related blow.  Of course, I still have to listen to endless yammering about other's people vacations, but it saves me having to think up stupid excuses as to why we don't yet have anywhere to go, apart from the stirrups in the Assisted Conception.   

Maybe there should be a line of souvenir postcards for these situations. For example: "Greetings from the OC.  Gosh, the air conditioned waiting room is just a little slice of heaven.  Really enjoying the daily ultrasound womb tours. E. taking lots of photos, the slide show should be something else! See ya soon!"

Yeah. What a hoot.  I'll take half a dozen, and maybe one with the Loch Ness monster on it for good measure.

Comments

[Suz]

First, I have to tell you how much I love the title of this post. Second, my husband and I are undergoing much of the same thing in regards to our vacation planning. Work just adds another layer. The sense of not being in control, of not being able to plan, can be one of the more difficult aspects of this entire process. Hang in there.

[Amyesq]

And how sucky to have to use vacation to undergo this kind of crap.
-A
PS I hear Under Anesthesia is lovely this time of year.

[penelope]

This, the summer of IVF (said in a very deep voice), is the first year in all of my life that I am going absolutely nowhere (that would be geographically, not figuratively). I used to love to talk about all my exciting destinations, now there just isn't much to say.

How about a little passport that we could get stamped with blood draw symbols and ultrasound wands? Look at all the places I've been..

[Kate]

Ya know, Nessy is an infertile too. She has no babies. She would be perfect for the IVF postcard. I'd like one with me in my swimsuit, standing next to her that says..."Swimming made us friends, infertility made us sisters."

And I'll take a copy of a modified passport, one for FET.

[InSpring]

Two weeks off - in a row??? Just pretend you're a transplanted American workaholic, we'd never dream of taking off two weeks in a row.

[ovagirl]

E the Oblivious Sex God...nice to hear he was a party star. Love the postcard idea. Gives new meaning to the whole "Wish You Were Here" thing.

[Emily]

What? IVF ISN'T a destination? Man, what else have I been missing?

[Pamplemousse]

Ssshh, don't tell the rest of the Yanks about our holiday entitlements - they will only get upset!

I am confused - are you putting a pic of your cootch on a postcard and calling it Nessie??

[MsPrufrock]

As someone also facing a summertime IVF, I'm finding it particularly difficult to schedule a holiday as well. I'm keen just for a weekend in Brussels or something, but nature has other plans. The Dude teaches, so his and hence my holiday will likely coincide with a lovely cycle of IVF. Gee, the fun is neverending. What a waste of the fantastic holiday entitlement!

[B. Mare]

Ah, no, I wasn't equating the Loch Ness Monster with my cooch- I was thinking tacky postcards, generally. But who knows, that could be a new Scottish IF term.

As in, "The Doctor stuck the dildo cam up my Nessie."

[ManhattanAnne]

You people are a riot. IF postcards! Summer vacations in Under Anesthesia! I will be spending my summer inside the computer with all of you.

[wessel]

Vacation? HA! I laugh aloud. Who has money for vacation? I'm lucky if I can buy myself a chocolate bar without compromising our tuna quota for the week.

[Pamplemousse]

I was only joshing!! It cannae be that green and slimy surely?! Kidding, kidding.

[Lindy]

I'm so relieved to hear that I'm not the only one who opens up to friends, family and even near-strangers about my IF-related plans when I have too much to drink. Thankfully, I'm usually drunk enough to not be able to recall their looks of horror in response to my description of exactly how I contort my body to give myself a shot in the rear. Oh for the days when the most drunkenly inappropriate thing I could say at a party was that I looked better without my clothes on...

[Tam]

Mothering Sunday has ALWAYS been in March. This newfangled American Mother's Day was only created sometime in the early twentieth century - it's about as old as Sweetest Day.

(Said as a bitter Brit who not only has to remember Mothering Sunday, but also has to remember the US Mother's Day for her MIL, and forgot this year. Is there any reason why you folks couldn't have just used our day?)

[Kristin]

ROFL...love the idea of IF postcards.