The Burning Question

I am feeling marginally better- or at least enough to push on with a bit more storytelling. I ask your forgiveness in advance if I spin it out a little- it's been a long dry spell in terms of actual treatment doings here, and it's nice to have something concrete to yarn about again.

OK, where were we? Oh yes, wait wait wait wait wait BIG APPOINTMENT at the OC.

I have known for some time that I was probably expecting more from the appointment than I should. Part of this may be the fact that the whole thing seemed so shrouded in enigma and mystery. Nobody seemed quite able to explain what it was for, or why exactly we needed to wait all these long weeks. However, I firmly resolved beforehand that if we were sent away to do any more testing or form-filling or waiting, I would immediately- and without prior warning- spontaneously combust all over the clinic floor.

It didn't quite come to that- although if you look closely, I am a little charred around the collar.

Having learned our lesson about leaving plenty of time to get to the clinic, we got there a bit early. It was an evening appointment, and there was no one at reception. We could hear voices down the hall, but neither of us was inclined to start sticking our heads into the examining rooms. I mean, can you imagine what you might be interrupting? Sheesh.

So we plunked ourselves down on the waiting room chairs and waited.

E. immediately become engrossed in a magazine article, which I noticed was titled "How to Survive Having an Affair". I sat and stared at all the posters on the wall. There seemed to be a great many clubs and meeting groups for the involuntarily childless. CALL 1-800-GetALife for more information. That sort of thing. How cheering and encouraging.

The minutes ticked by, and we waited.

After about 20 minutes I decided death by embarrassment was preferable to sitting there with those posters, so I got up and went down the hall to an open office. Ah ha, a clutch of nurses!

"Um, hi. Does anyone know we are here?" I asked.

"Why are you here?" one of the nurses responded.

Mmmm. Now, that is an interesting question. If only I knew, I thought.

She must have clocked the blank, confused look on my face, because she went on to suggest, as if speaking to a six year old, "Counselling? Implications Counselling?"

"Yes! That's it! That's why we're here! I have no idea what implications counselling is, or why we need to do it, but here we are!" I said.

"Oh, good. Wait outside," she told me.

I went back to my chair, where I was happy to see that E. had moved on to an article about men who love women who need IVF too much.

We were finally shown into a consulation room, where we were informed that the nurse would be with us shortly. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell the nurse that we were no longer in the waiting room, and she thought we had left. Because that's what somebody who has waited 10 weeks for an appointment would do if the nurse is running 10 minutes late, right? Never mind. What a jolly and amusing laugh we all had half an hour later, when it was discovered that we had been right there under her nose the whole time.

"OK, let's get started," she said. She opened a file. She clicked her pen.

"Can I have your name and address please?" she began.

I told her.

"Date of birth?"

I told her.

"OK, how long have you been trying to get pregnant? Any previous pregnancies? Any children? Do you have any allergies? Any family illnesses? Are you taking any medication? Apart from the control freakery and the psychosis-inducing experience that it is infertility, are you in good health? Star sign? Opinion on the future of the EU Constitutional Treaty? "

Et-cet-er-a.

Then she turned to E. and asked him much the same. And so it went for the next half hour.

E. and I can sometimes (though not always) read each others' minds, and I knew we were both thinking at mental top volume, "THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THIS?". I mean, it's not as if we hadn't already been to a prior consultation with His JazzHandedNess , which incidentally did not come cheap.

The nurse was really very nice, though, and not at all condescending. And E. and I were both on our best and most charming behaviour. So we soldiered on. We got gold stars for having all our blood work and screening completed. We had a short and harmless digression regarding the results of E.'s last semen analysis. Then, at last, we were rewarded with... some shiny new consent forms to fill out! There were consent forms for me, consent forms for E., consent forms for both of us to take home so we can ponder the fate of any embroyos in the event of our mental incapacity or death (and consent to that fate), consent forms for the signing of the consent forms. Oh, and the consent form be taken home to our GPs, to enable our respective doctors to offer an opinion about our fitness to be parents.

More on that last one later- every time I start thinking about it, there is a sudden smell of singeing and ash.

Finally, finally, finally, we got on to talking about the drugs and the treatment. I'll leave the drugs chat until next time (so many options! so much Googling to do! cha cha cha!). But the really burning question topmost in our mind was when can we start?.

OK, so the answer is this: We wait until Day 1 of my next period, which by my reckoning will be sometime later this week. I then phone to make an appointment for Day 20 of that cycle, whereupon I go in for a dildo cam roto-rootering to check for cysts, etc. I return any remaining outstanding consent forms (including all the new ones that have been breeding in the back of my blue folder). Oh, and I also have to pay for the whole treatment at that point (including embryo freezing- how fiscally optimistic!).

Once I fork over the money, they hand over the down-regging/suppression drugs. Away I go to snort Synarel nasal spray with carefree abandon, eagerly anticipating my next period and the start of stims. Huzzah! Basically, if all goes to plan, I am guesstimating retrieval will be sometime the first week in August.

But don't hold me to that. E. tried to pin me down on the relevant dates yesterday, and folks, the ensuing brawl was not pretty. Things are a little frayed around the edges here, temper-wise, at the moment. Again, more on that another time.

As for the conclusion of the appointment, suffice to say that- once we had covered the basics: file notes, screening results, consent forms, treatment timetable, list of drug options- our time was up and we were dismissed. So, on the whole, perhaps not worth all that waiting and anticipation. But on the upside- comparatively speaking- it's progress.

Now, I am overcome with weariness, and feel the need for some uplifting sticky toffee pudding.

Comments

[Jen]

Hooray for sticky toffee pudding! And, if I may say, (hooray!) for starting on this nasty little process. Even though it sucks that we're both here now, I'm glad to see we'll be going through it together (you + me + Bugs = an unholy triumvirate if ever I saw one).

As for the paying for everything before you stick the first needle in the gut, I too find that suspect and more than a little daunting (my practice does the same). Too much commitment, not enough action--or something.

Best of luck to you, my dear!

[MsPrufrock]

Ooo...sticky toffee pudding. Yum. I'm glad you have a course of action, and I look forward to reading about all the needle stickings and crap side effects that IVF brings...and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

[P.]

I am glad things are moving forward for you!

Mmmmm... pudding!

[Anna H.]

This is all sooooo exhausting and you're holding up extremely well -- is sticky toffee pudding your secret? And will you share?

I'm very curious about the consent form for your GPs (are you serious about that? Or just pulling our collective leg?) and want to hear all the other details, too...

I'm right here with you, sister.

xxoo

[Manuela]

Delurking...

Oh how wonderful it must feel to know you finally get to be 'doing something'... that must feel like progress. As sadistic as it might seem... I anxiously await your tales of dildo-cams and vaginal needle extraction thingies! Goody!!

[MM]

Progress! Ahoy! So glad you're back in the game, even if the game is scary and completely annoying at times, it's better than sitting on the sidelines waiting for something to happen. (Unless you're eating sticky toffee pudding while sitting on the sidelines. That is an entirely different set of circumstances.) Best of luck with your cycle. I hope to cycle in August. With any luck I'll be right behind you.

[Emily]

Holding on for the rest of the ride with you and wishing you lots of luck and sending love.

[londongrrl]

Just a tip from another UK IVFer - check with the nurse about options for getting the drugs cheaper. The wholesale companies will post them and for me it was about a third of the hospital pharmacy price. Best of luck.

[Toni]

You have a date...kind of...but still - it's a light at the end of the tunnel!!!! YEAH!!!

[Suz]

Moving forward is great! The inability to stick anything to the calendar for long and say "yes, this is our date!" is one of the more frustrating aspects of treatment. I wish you much luck.

[Pamplemousse]

My Synarel arrived today in the post - almost like Xmas but not quite!! I think I will be just behind you. I am on standby for the whole Synarel sniffing tips and assorted assvice.

Those forms for the GP - what a fucking hoot! You know that all those 12 year-old crack whores are having to seek permission to be fit to have children, aren't they?? Fucking HFEA.

[InSpring]

Okay, you're paying for this and they make you go through that? For what? They could have sent the consent forms and a brochure. Do they have no conception that your not only the patient but the paying client (the one they have to please). Oh well, that's my little rant.

So glad you have some dates to set down on the calendar - I think they sound very similar to the dates I anticipate for my cycle but I don't get to snort any drugs, really disappointed about that.... just how does one go about becoming an EU citizen (a question that's been on my mind for a while) can I just renounce my US citizenship?

[Menita]

Progress. Good. Moving right along ; )

[reprogirl]

It's nice to know you've started down this road. A journey of a thousand miles, etc. etc.
Wishing you luck.

[Julie]

Congrats on being back in the game! Hopefully it will be just one inning for you and E.