The best of times

I confess I have a secret fondness for those "Best of/Worst of" articles that appear in newspapers and magazines this time of year. What is sort of alarming is when I realise how many things I have already forgotten, no matter how gripping or amusing the event at the time. This suggests to me that it's not that I have not been paying attention, but rather my memory sure ain't what it used to be.

This year, my own life was dotted with a great many ghastly occurences, the memories of which would probably be best stuffed into a hatbox and shoved on the top shelf at the back of my brain. With a label marked "2005: It Sucked More than I ever Thought Possible."

But it occurred to me this morning that fact, while much of this blog is devoted to the narration and dissection of the Suck, there's been very little space given to all the nice, groovy things that went on over the last twelve months. Because surely there were some? Weren't there?

I suppose the only way to answer that is to compile my own "Mare's Best of 2005" and see what we come up with. Let's begin:

Best New Hobby

I don't think I ever told you how I re-learned how to knit this summer. Well, when I say, "re-learned", I mean I am now capable of producing the same standard of mangled scarf as when I was eight years old and working on my mother's funky pink needles. During the IVF cycle, I had decided it would be a good and soothing thing to take up knitting, and I was right. On day of transfer, I sat in the park in the sun, working on a small baby hat, without any sort of qualms whatsoever. Of course, I made a mess of it and had to unravel the whole damn thing two days later, which might have been considered to be something of an omen. I choose to take it as an omen that I suck at knitting.

Best Present Received

I am passionately fond of a bar of fig soap sent to me by Anna H. for my birthday.

Best Meal Eaten

There was a particularly fine meal partaken with my parents at a tapas restaurant in London in June. But I think the award must go to one of the home-cooked dinners prepared by the owner of the villa property while we were on holiday. It was a delightful repast- fresh, abundant, delicious local produce, consumed in a convivial atmosphere at a long scrubbed table with twelve other guests. We ate and ate, drank vats of wine, and stumbled back to our room in a haze of contentment. Bliss.

Best Clothing Purchase

Hands down, the winner is a soft cashmere vest top in the most wonderful inky blue. It goes with everything and I would wear it every single day if I dared.

Best Accessory Purchase

There was the acquisition of a certain handbag, the sight and smell of which still thrills me, and price of which still makes me blush.

Best Artist

I fell madly in love with this artist's work. I saw one of her stunning paintings hanging at an exhibition, and wanted desperately to buy it. With pangs of regret, I did not. Maybe one day.

Best "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" Moment

I've decided that not everything IVF-related need necessarily go into the "Worst of" box. I will always pride myself on the fact that I gave myself all my own shots during that process; especially that first one when I really didn't know if I had it in me to...well...jab it in me. Turns out I did, and I do. Yay me.

Best Book

Oh, do I have to pick just one? I immensely enjoyed at least three, all of which deserve a mention:

The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova.
I devoured this on holiday- it's long and a bit intricate but hey! There's vampires and a touching love story- what's not to like?

The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets by Eva Rice. I read this in one sitting on Boxing Day. Utterly delightful.

Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynn Truss. Oh, Ms Truss. As one who worships at the altar of proper punctuation (even if I don't always manage it myself), I applaud you. Thanks to you, I also have a new found adoration of the semi-colon. *Swoon*.

Best Music Download

Imogen Heap's Hide and Seek has been on on heavy rotation here for months now.

Best Technology

I recently discovered the joys of "VOIP"- also known as "Voice Over Internet Protocol", also known as "Talk to Friends and Family Anywhere in the World for Free!" I now frequently speak to my mother for hours on end via this handy device- all you need is an internet connection, a microphone and speakers, which can be obtained in a headset form. You also need to the download one of the many VOIP programs- I like this one . The sound quality is better than the phone, and the price is right. Check it out.

So, not all bad. While the grumpy part of me argues that all the fig soap and cashmere in the world cannot compensate for the other sadnesses of this year, another part remembers that accruing the memories of many small, pleasant things will always help keep the darkness in check.

Happy New Year everyone, and here's to 2006- may it bring us many more "bests" to add to all our lists.

Comments

[Lala]

You're a trooper Mare, a real inspiration to keep going when the going gets tough, and do it with grace. I wish you the all best fig soap and cashmere a woman can want for 2006.

[Amanda]

Happy 2006, Mare. I hope it brings many, many good things your way.

[Toni]

May 2006 be twice...no three times...no FIVE times better than 2005 :)

[mm]

Happy, happy new year.

[Anna H.]

Happy New Year, Mare.

I am so grateful that you've written this list out and reminded me that there were some lovely times in 2005, as well as the stunningly craptastic ones. It's been easy to wallow this holiday season and you've snapped me out of it quite a bit -- truly, you are an inspiration.

As for the soap, it makes me so happy to think that you like it; I hope when you smell it you'll think of happy days spent under a beautiful fig tree and and the many people here in the computer (and IRL too) who love you.

xxoo

[wessel]

Happy New Year! I hope 2006 will bring more joy and happiness than you can imagine.

I also tried to re-learn knitting this year, but I'm not doing so hot. Still making scarves using garter stitch. Hmmm. And haven't even finished one at that. :-)

[Meg]

Thanks for the list, not everything in '05 was shit for me, even though it seems like it sometimes.
I took up knitting again in winter last year and have a half finished teddy bear. Just like when I was a kid I never finished a piece of knitting.

[Pamplemousse]

Skype rules in our house! Now if I can get my best bud in the States to get broadband, it will be really cooking.

Here's to 2006, my friend.

[SheilaC]

Wishing you all the best in 2006. Hey, it's got to be better than 2005, right? I've been thinking of you and am glad you are back blogging occasionally, and that you have some good memories and nice souvenirs of happy times in 2005.
I like the Eats, Shoots and Leaves book too. Must check out your other recommendations.
If you love books, have you heard about LibraryThing.com? Very interesting, and somewhat addictive.
Best wishes,

[reprogirl]

You're amazing for managing to pull a few genuinely good things out of the 2005 cesspool. I am a passionate (but unfortunately not active, lately) knitter and love to share knitting tips / ideas / obsessiveness. So I'm with you in spirit on your knitting rediscovery adventure.

Thanks for continuing to give us your lovely words - it is always so good to see a post from you.

[Manuela]

What a lovely post...

[thalia]

Oh I'm so glad there were those good things for 2005. I'm struggling to think of my own, but it's a very good challenge.

I read the Eva Rice book but not the other two. I also enjoyed it but not sure it's on my top 3 list. Jane Gardam's "Old Filth" is definitely there, as is probably Kate Atkinson's latest.

Must go and think about this. Glad the suckage is in balance.

[Amyesq]

Thanks so much for this list and for reminding me that a year can't be all bad. Oh, and what about "Best Meet Up with Random Person from the Internet?" Still lusting after that handbag...

[Lisa]

Happy New Year! I re-learned to knit this fall and I've become obsessed with it. Even on Christmas Day there were a few times when I thought "I wish I was knitting". That's the kind of person I am - I get obsessed with things for awhile and then I move on to something new. Knitting is really relaxing for me, so it was the perfect new hobby for me at this time.

[Mellie]

Mare - Just wanted to wish you a happy 2006. Your blog is surely on my list of Best of 2005. Your warmth, wisdom and humor are always a pleasure to read, and I so hope the new year brings you fistfuls of joy.

[Betsy]

Thanks, Mare. I am going to start working on my list as you have reminded me that 2005 wasn't all crap.
Here's to a better 2006 for all of us. Thanks for the inspiration!

[jen/chew]

Happy New Year, Mare.

[Georgia]

Great list, Mare.
And I'm ready for 2005 to be over, for both of us (me=4 pregnancies and no baby, but lots of blood draws and rides on the dildocam!).
I agree that the holiday sympathy is much more...forthcoming for certain types of heartbreak than others. Even my most sympathetic, touchy feely earth mama friends have had very little to say to me. Discomfort? Fear of contagion? No idea how fucking terrible this is? Picking up on me leave-me-the-fuck-alone vibe? I don't know. And I don't know what I want from anyone anyway, so...
I got the most kickass pair of boots that were more $ than I'd spent on shoes/clothes ever but my lord are the comfortable and sexy and closefitting and not pointy, totally in love with them. That's a happy thing for the year.