Little earthquakes

Oh dear, has it been over a week already? Erm, yes, it would appear so. Time flies when nothing much is happening.

Really, I have had the most awful case of blogger's block- I would attribute a lot of that to the fact that my mind is a-whirra-whirring away with a great many other things. What I realised the other day is that there simply has to be some sort of shift from the status quo, in a fairly grand seismic sense. Because I don't think I can plan on plodding on like this for the next 35 years or so, or to whenever it is "they" deem I can retire.

What I have been pondering muchly of late is the possibilities that are open to me. I'm trying to move on from the big shock of watching the Big Plan A crumbling under my feet. So. If children aren't necessarily going to happen, what else is there? What a question. In the last few weeks, I have contemplated everything from the sublime to the ridiculous. I'll open a bakery! I'll start up some weird religious sect! I'll take a year off work and travel! I'll move to London! I'll move to New York! I'll stay where I am...oh, wait, we decided that last one wasn't working out so well.

Anyway, to cut a long, navel-gazing story short, I've now come up with a rather interesting plan. It has all the elements I so delight in- it's just wacky enough to make me stop in my tracks and think Whoooah! It's dauntingly challenging, but it's also realistically do-able, if I put my mind to it. It would be something that takes place over the medium to long term (since I am generally not one for the spur of the moment decision-making). It would, I hope, open up a lot of possibilities either for me on my own, if it comes to that, or for us (that being E. and I). A pleasing kind of ripple of effect, if you will.

And now you are all going to roll your eyes, moan, and then hate me, because I can't tell you what it is. Wait! Stop! Ouch! I'm not being deliberately coy, I'm not. Stop hitting me with that pillow. Were to I to divulge the details of this idea, then I would have to reveal rather more than I care to share about my professional life. But let's just say it involves my career. It's a notion I had on the backburner for a long time, but always shelved until now, primarily because I had thought any minute now I would get pregnant and then I would be too busy with kids to do it. Well, we all know how that one turned out. Therefore, in light of recent events, I am shuffling the pots around on the stove and turning up the gas.

The best thing is that suddenly, I feel better than I have in a long, long time about what could be out there for me. If I go through with it, I know there will be moments when I want to stick my finger in the light socket, but I figure an occasional burst to the nerve endings is no bad thing. At least that way, I'll know I'm still alive and feeling something.

Comments

[Molly]

I loved this last paragraph, and I'm SO HAPPY you've come up with a (top-secret) plan.

Reminds me of the lyrics to the Stephen Sondheim song "Being Alive". Of course, that's about wanting a relationship, but expresses similar feelings:

Someone to hold you too close
Someone to hurt you too deep
Someone to sit in your chair
And ruin your sleep
And make you aware of being alive

Etc.

[deborah]

Oooh, I do hope the plan involves you writing a book.

[Orodemniades]

Oo, so mysterious! I guess we shall all have to wait for what crumbs may drop from your lips, but in the meantime, can we assume you will not be a) an astronaut, b) a librarian c) a hunter of crack dealing, whip-wielding, hoagie-smoking, hod-carrying, Irn-Bru drinking crazed ferrets who wear haggises for hats?

Cuz, y'know, this country is just crazy enough for that.

[Orodemniades]

But I hate leaving on a dangling participle, so I will conclude with 'This country is just crazy enough for some weirdbehavior'.

Oddly, that doesn't have quite the same ring, does it?

[Mellie]

Mare - If anyone can meet a challenge set out by oneself I know you can. And the fact that it makes you so evidently happy and excited means it's got to be worth doing. Go for it, girl!

[bj]

I think our Mare is a spy. Right, right? I got it right, didn't I.

bj
PS: don't tell me, 'cause then I know you'd have to kill me.

[Dead Bug]

Whatever it is, it has you sounding partly sunny again, so I couldn't be more for it.

Best to you,
Bugs

[Jen]

I'm glad to hear you've got something great in the works.

And if, perchance, it does involve baked goods, you know that I'm always available!

[Julia S]

I love the tone of this post.

Also, it took me a minute, but:

Any minute now/
My ship is coming in/
I keep checking the horizon...

LOVE IT.

PS You owe me an email.

[Emily]

I'm very happy that you sound so good.

Very happy for you.

[Alexa]

I am all for pot-shuffling. And you sound happy with your potential seismic shift and that, my friend, is marvelous.

[Katie]

Shuffle the pots all you need to, but I'm still dying to know what's inside of them!

[Menita]

Glad you have a plan, but am clobbering you over the head with a pillow.

[thalia]

Fantastic news that you've got such a good idea and such impetus. I will refrain from bashing you just because you've put a smile on my face on a grey morning.

[Samara]

I'm all about wacky plans... and a seismic shift is not necessarily a bad thing... here's hoping the bakery religious cult that you're coming up with - oh wait it's not that that you're coming up with continues to bring a smile to your face and a joy to your heart... Because really that's all that anyone can hope for... Oh yes and success... lots and lots of success.

PS drop tiny morself of hints please so we can come up with a rather juicy new side job that you have going... bakery's and religious cults can only get a girl so far.

[Amyesq]

You're totally moving to San Diego to open an upscale purse and shoes store with your friend Amy, aren't you? I KNEW it!

[OvaGirl]

Mare you sound very positive. Whatever you are planning to do, it sounds exciting and challenging and a wee tad crazy...excellent i'faith.

Good luck!

[Pamplemousse]

Anything that makes you feel better is good, in my book.

[wessel]

Yay! It sounds exciting, whatever it is. :-)