Gremlins in the house

We are plagued with gremlins in this house at the moment. It seems like everything we own is breaking, broken, or is suffering from intermittent faults or malfunctions.

A few examples:

• The car

Remember how we bought the car and it crapped out the same day?. Well, it was apparently an omen of things to come. A couple of weeks ago it died again, as E. was barrelling along the busy motorway, forcing another delightful interlude on the side of the road awaiting assistance. Cue two weeks of mechanics scratching their heads, unable to figure out the cause. In the end, they decide it needs- wait for it- a new engine. Aieeee!

The good news it that some of it may be covered by warranty, but the bad news is that most of it will not. And the further good news is that because we bought it less than six months ago from a dealer we may still have some protection under the consumer legislation in this country. Though the further bad news is that he's a two bit dealer operating out of his garden shed and he doesn't give a shit about our statutory rights so it may involve taking him to court to obtain any satisfaction. Oh, what larks.

• The kettle

If you don't live in Britain, I am not sure you can fully grasp the sheer horror of being without a kettle. The kettle is the source of all lifeblood- that is, endless cups of tea. When the breakdown occured, E. and I staggered around in a daze for a couple of days before flailing around in the cupboards to see if we had a spare fuse. We did not. Then we remembered that we have an entire garage filled with crap, including the exact same style of kettle (when furnishing two houses, if you find something you like, why not buy two?). Of course finding it meant going to confront the utter, utter nightmare that is the garage. It's still crammed to the gunnels, and things are beginning to get rather fusty.

• The battery on the camera

One of the reasons I have not taken more pictures of Little Guy is that everytime I reach for the camera, the battery is dead. A direct result, I am sure, of the damage suffered earlier when E. dropped the damn thing in a puddle of water. The nice guy at the camera shop managed to fix the camera itself but the battery seems to be a bit gubbed ever since.

• Little Guy's intestines

I applied his worming meds the other night, and twelve hours later, a series of the most ginormous roundworms emerged from his bottom. Aieeee! The vet tells me that is a sign that the medicine is working properly, but good grief. Poor little guy. As E. pointed out to me during our walk in the park, if I were to poop out something on a comparative scale, there would be worms the size of my arm. Nice.

• The roof

I think I wrote a couple of years ago about the saga of the roof leaking, though I can't now find the link back to it. Never mind, it's not that interesting a story, really. In a nutshell, there is a structural fault running the length of our building and somehow when it rains (which it does a lot, this being Scotland), the water gets in- either into our flat (i.e the kitchen or the hall) as well as the flat directly below us. It was supposedly repaired by the builders a couple of years ago after a protracted, annoying fandango, but guess what? It's leaking again! Hurray.

• The internet connection on the laptop

Since getting Little Guy, I prefer using the laptop computer to blog, because then I can sit on the sofa while he plays on the rug at my feet, and he likes that better than weaving under the chair legs at the dining room table. It's also baltic-y cold in the study in the winter. But for some totally unexplained reason, the connection is busticated. I've rebooted everything there is to reboot, and still it defies me. Mustn't grumble, I suppose, since I am lucky to have an at least one working connection (touch wood)- even if I may have to chop off a my frostbitten fingers afterwards.

• My reproductive system

Oh, wait, that was already broken. No change there.

Comments

[Lut C.]

My goodness, the kettle? Makes you nostalgic for the days when only your reproductive system was faulty.

[Truly Tested]

I know the feeling. At least it sounds as if you have a sense of humour about it! I start going crazy when lots of little things stop working since those are things we *should* be able to control...unlike the major gremlin in the house

[katie]

I have exactly the same problem in my study - I have now knitted myself a pair of toasty wristwarmers.

[hummingbirdchronicles]

When it rain it pours... Have been reading your post for a long while, a bit timid and at the sidelines with comments. Noticed you havent been around in a while. Hope you're okay....