What? Me Worry?

Hi! Hello! Dragging my exhausted, nauseated butt over to the computer long enough to let you all know that:

a.  I appear to still be pregnant.

b.  I survived the trip to France. The ferry over was OK, actually- we were both so tired from the long drive that we collapsed in our little cabin and slept like the dead, even though the boat pitched and rolled so much E. nearly fell off the top bunk. And we woke up in France, which is always sort of entertaining.

The trip back on the other hand was, in a word, ghastly. Sick, sick, sick.  Fortunately, we had also booked a cabin even though it was daytime sail, so I was able to lie down in between trips to the loo. I kept thinking I should get out for some fresh air, but every time I stepped into the hallway, the floor would roll and the urge to puke would become so overwhelming I had to rush straight back inside. It was a vile experience and it lasted 10 hours.   

c.  About that pregnancy thing- apart from the aforesaid exhausted vomiting, very little has happened except the Thyroid Saga.  You see, just before the joyous event of conception occured, I got a telephone call from one of the GPs to advise that my latest thyroid bloodwork suggested I had slipped ever so slightly from the hypo to hyper end of the spectrum and I should knock the meds down a bit and we would check it again in a couple of months.  And then I got knocked up. 

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I immediately upped the dosage back to the usual levels, since everything I had ever read about hypothyroidism and pregnancy suggested that increased levels of thyroxine may be needed and I'd be damned if I was going to be taking less than the dosage which had been working so well for nearly two years (notwithstanding a one-off freakish test result). I explained all this to Dr Young Clueless when I went to see him just before Christmas- of course, he raised his eyebrows that I had had the gall to reach this conclusion on my own but we agreed that the levels would need to be checked anyway.    

So earlier this week I went in for what was a totally useless appointment with the midwife yesterday- after being kept waiting for 45 minutes, she called me in to basically tell me that she'd go over everything in detail at the "booking appointment" which takes place at week 12 and which point I will get a scan on the NHS. Fine, I said, except I really want some feedback on that thyroid blood test from before Christmas.  Of course, she couldn't access that screen, and there was nothing in the file so I had to wander out to reception to see if we could track down those test results.  The receptionist waved the bit of paper at me, saying everything was "normal".  She looked slightly taken aback when I reached across the desk and throttled her with my bare hands.

Ha, I jest, of course, but I was a little fed up by then.  THE NUMBER, I demanded.  GIVE ME THE NUMBER. And she did, and it was 2.47.  Whereupon I went home and googleygoogled, resulting in a mini freak out that it should be between 1-2 to maintain a healthy pregnancy and aieeee!  But then, I don't know if it was slightly elevated because I had been taking less meds for a month before I found out, or if it is due to something else. I haven't heard a peep from the midwife or anyone else to say that there is cause for concern, but if they are operating on the assumption that I'm "normal" then it's possible they are not remotely interested. So now I'm not sure what to do. I think I may have to put in a plea to Dr Best Friend for some assistance, but it is so hard to get an appointment with her nowadays that I may struggle. 

All of which peeves me somewhat.

d.  I'm going for a scan on Tuesday next week- private, of course, since as mentioned above, no NHS scan until week 12.  At first I was quite relaxed about waiting, figuring that in some ways, ignorance was bliss.  And then the weeks began to pass, and you know, I find I am getting quite attached to the notion of this whole pregnancy thing, with attendant curiousity/worry about what exactly might be going on in there. Also, I am due to travel to Florida at the end next week, and I confess I have developed an unshakeable morbid fear that I will abruptly and spectacularly miscarry on the plane/in the queue for immigration/at the airport baggage carousal. So we're going to stump up the cash for a sneak preview.

It may not be the answer I am looking for, but at least I have some indication, and right now, that does feel more comforting than not knowing at all.         

Comments

[Jen]

NBHHY and glad that you survived the trip. I can remember going on the ferry from Belfast to Scotland and how everyone else thought it was a divine ride and I was wanting to hurl!

[Jen]

I hope you get some reassurance on the thyroid front, though it sounds like things are generally fine now. Mine actually dipped below 1 slightly during the pg, and all seemed to work out okay. Just insist on monthly tests, and I think you'll be fine.

Good luck on the scan!

[Heather]

I would absolutely do the same thing. 12 weeks is an absurd amount of time to have to wait for some reassurance. I hope everything looks fantastic. (I'm sure it will).

[sjb]

Also glad you survived the trip and that everything seems to be progressing ok! But I have to ask - I have relatives in England and when visiting them have considered taking the ferry over to France (I like boats!) instead of the train. So my question: is it really a 10 hour event? Because that switches it from fun to possibly not-at-all-fun. Or did it just SEEM like 10 hours in all the pukey misery?

[Carla Hinkle]

Glad you are going for the scan. I would shoot myself if I had to wait til 12 weeks. (Of course, that would kind of defeat the purpose of the early scan, but you get my meaning, I think.)

Feel better and let us know what happens --

[Stacy]

FLORIDA!? To see me? I live in Tampa. If you're going to be close to this side of the state I would love to meet you! I promise I am not a werido. Of course, any weirdo would claim not to be a weirdo but really I'm not. I promise! ;)

I hope the scan goes well.

NBHHY!

[Menita]

A sneak preview sounds like a great idea. Glad you're back, and that nbhhy.

[Micaela]

Dear Mare,
I've been reading you for almost a year now and pulling for you and your husband. I hope this pregnancy results in the baby you've wanted.
Regarding the actual gestation, I was sick as a dog despite every trick tried in the book (oddly, smelling a lemon and occasionally just sucking on a half of one was the only thing that mildly helped. I'm still finding shriveled up lemon rinds everywhere). Oh the queasiness, barfing, the tiredness and the dizziness. On dry land, it was like I was seasick or hung over. I work in a skyscraper, and at one point I asked my coworkers if the building was purposefully swaying.
I'm now at week 33 (month 8) and the nausea has turned into indigestion and heartburn from hell. I no longer barf, but I burp acid constantly, eating or no.
Anyway, I hope you have none of that! If you do, you can survive it. Just try all the home remedy, homeopathic stuff, followed by over-the-counter stuff (like Bonine) and if it gets real bad, they have fancy prescription drugs they can put you on.
Best of luck to you!

[Nicky]

So pleased you are hanging on in there (insert your own picture of kitten on branch etc..). Good luck with the scan. x

[Krista]

Yeah, I get really ansy in between scans too and I had one at 6, 8 , 10, 12, etc. Waiting til 12 is simply ridiculous!

[Katty]

Hello,
I have mild hypothyroidism, diagnosed during my first fertility work-up.
Just before I became pregnant I was upped to 75mg of thyroxine and my TSH was 3 which I was told was fine (the normal range in the UK seems to be between 1-4). At seven weeks pregnant I insisted on having a thyroid panel (privately paid for) only to discover that my TSH had elevated to 7.6 (though my free thyroxine - free T4 - was at the upper end of normal). I PANICKED and called up my (private) doctor who was away. I begged the clinic to find me someone else, and they kindly gave me the phone number of a doctor who was at the airport about to fly away on holiday. He told me not to panic - and that until the TSH went over 10 it really wasn't going to have an impact on the babies - but to up my dose to 100mg, which I did. I retested again six weeks and my TSH had gone down to 2.2 (it's not been that low for ages) and my free thyroxine was at 17 (mid range). My last test, at 22 weeks, my TSH was 3.3 and my TSH had dropped to 14. I think this is cause for concern even though both numbers are in the normal range, but no one else seems concernced. However, I am going to demand a retest again on the NHS in two weeks time when I go in for my next thyroid clinic.
I don't know about your hospital, but mine has a weekly clinic for pregnant women with thyroid problems which you have to attend every six weeks throughout pregnancy.
I also went for a private reassurance scan at ten weeks because I was so freaked out. It helped.
Good Luck!

[mommycheryl]

Oy, thyroid issues. My endo decided I should have mine out but that it was OK to go through with my scheduled FET since levels were all OK and, well, nothing was working for me fertility-wise anyway so odds were good that I wouldn't get pregnant anyway. Which means of course I got preggers and my thyroid went completely bonkers in celebration. Had to take PTU -- anti-thyroid meds -- the whole pregnancy, convincing me that my children (twins) would be born with six limbs each. All was well. I did, however, puke right up until an hour before they were born.

[Alex]

No, wait! I don't know if there's anything similar in the UK, but in the US it is possible to order your own TSH tests without fooling with those silly doctors (er: ;)). Two ways you can do it: order an in-lab test through http://www.healthcheckusa.com, or use an OTC finger-prick test called biosafe (I've found it cheapest through Amazon.com; search for biosafe thyroid test). My DH used the latter and got results within about a week, I think (they do return the actual #, not just a "normal/abnormal" result). Um, since you're going to be here anyway...?

And in these days of Fedex, I'd guess you could order 8 biosafe tests and use one/month until you deliver, if you want...fedexing them over to the US to get the tests run? Er...just an option, from one paranoid pregnancy hypothyroid to another. GL.

[Alex]

...oh, and at the risk of stating the obvious I have no financial interests in either healthcheck or amazon or biosafe...

-- Alex

[ashpash]

Mare:

It has been a joy reading through your blog...best wishes during this pregnancy. We have two children through adoption and are jumping into IVF for #3. Thanks for sharing your story!

[Stacie]

Oranges. For me it wasn't lemons that calmed the horrid "morning" sickness, it was oranges. I ate about a box of clementines/week during the first trimester.

And, I agree, waiting until 12 weeks may be great for a "normal" person, but infertiles of all stripes are not "normal".

[Amyesq]

For the last couple of weeks the thought of you on that ferry would pop in my hard and I would give a little involuntary shudder. And that was when I thought you were ferrying from England. I didn't realize you were ferrying all the way from Scotland. *shudders again*

Glad that you made it back in one piece, though. And that you are still pregnant! Promise me that after this week's scan reveals a healthy - what, still embryo? I forget when he/she becomes a fetus - that you will come up with a twee name for it so we can call him/her something. I want to finally you to finally be able to say "(Twee name) is doing well." That would be very wonderful to hear indeed!

[Amyesq]

Head. The thought would pop in my head. Not in my hard. That sounds kind of creepy.

[Kristin]

Hey Mare...I'm glad you survived the trip but that return ferry trip sounds horrendous. Just keep chanting NBHHY...and remember where that got Grrl.

[daysgoby]

Hoping all is well!