The pitter patter of tiny hooves

Ugh, work is simply kicking my ass at the moment. I do have a lot more energy than a couple of weeks ago, but even so, come 4 o'clock I start feeling a little bit floppy.  Unfortunately, that seems to be the point in the day at which many of my colleagues kick into high gear and the pace picks up.  I've been called into a few late afternoon meetings where I am struggling to keep up with the frenetic undertakings to then have something ready "first thing in the morning"- which generally means I am supposed to go back to the desk and work until 8pm (except I never do).

There have been several occasions where I have wanted to raise my hand and ask for an extension because "I'm pregggggnaaaaant."   As in, "No, I can't give you what you want in time, because I'm preeeeggggnaaannt." "Couldn't someone else take tover for me, because I'm preeeegggggnnnant."  "Is there an extra helping of cake for me, because I'm...". Oh, wait. 

Speaking of cake, I  was weighed at my appointment with the midwife this afternoon, and I've put on a kilo and a half since the Great Stomach Flu Purge. I guess this not a lot, or is about right, or something. I'm trying not to obsess about weight issues, since there seems to be a great potential for head fuckery in that area. Early on, (which also coincided nicely with Christmas), when I was stuffing my face every two hours to stave off morning sickness, I immediately packed on about half a stone (otherwise known as 7 pounds). I didn't particularly worry about this until I looked online, out of curiousity, to check how much weight one should be gaining at each stage.

The answer, according to more than one haughty site, was along the lines of: "Not so fucking much (you fat pig). Stop eating immediately!  You're not really eating for two, you glutton, so put down those donuts AT ONCE! 300 extra calories per day, and that's IT. Do not use your pregnancy as an excuse to consume half your body weight in cookies. Come on, lard ass, you'll never be able to get it off once you've put it on."   

At which point I felt so stressed out I had to immediately devour an entire avocado, together with a large lump of cheese. Then I felt better. I mean, good grief!  Talk about pressure!  Not only do we have to eat right during pregnancy but we have to eat exactly the right amounts. And if you start out, as many women do, with a whole series of hang ups (large and small) about body image and weight, then well...as I said, head fuckery is certain to ensue.  In the end, I decided that I was going to eat what I want, when I want and as much as I want, and will trust that getting knocked up has not somehow broken the usual inner compass which steers me to reasonable food choices and portions. So far, that seems to be correct, especially since the midwife did not recoil in horror when I stepped on the scales this afternoon.

As a delightful ending to the appointment (and perhaps to compensate for the low point during which the student nurse made a right old mess of my arm when taking blood), they got out the Doppler to check if we could hear the baby's heartbeat. I was sort of astonished at the offer, since hitherto nobody has seemed the slightest bit interested in audio. They warned me that they may not be able to hear at almost-but-not-quite 16 weeks (since I guess the NHS can't afford the decent high tech Dopplers). However, the midwife found it with a minimum of poking around, and a sound like tiny galloping hooves filled the room. Go, little pony, go. It cheered me up considerably, and even as things veered from one calamity to another at work for the rest of the afternoon, I remained in an unshakeably good mood.      

Oh, lastly, and my maternity clothing order arrived last week.  I had it delivered to work, and as soon as I unwrapped it, I popped into the loos to change because sitting at my desk with the binding and chafing of my waistband had become unbearable.  Ahhhhh, sweet, sweet blessed expandables.  Pass the donuts.

Comments

[Lisa]

I hear you about the weight thing. I just barely found out I'm pregnant and I know I'm going to blow up like a balloon. My usual diet choices are awful but I'm going to try and be better.

[carosgram]

I believe in the motto "It takes 9 months to put it on and 9 months to take it off". So for the next 18 months you get a pass on what you want to eat. Yeah.

[Hetty_Fauxvert]

Just "eat healthy" and you're quite likely to end up with a healthy baby. (Although it helps to emphasize protein and calcium in your diet, since those are primary building blocks for the baby.) My dietician gave me grief for putting on too much weight early in the pregnancy (I was SUPPOSED to follow her little chart rigorously, don'tcha know!) but frankly, I ignored her. Now at 34w, my twins are both at the 50th percentile for *singletons* -- which is very good indeed. Most twins are a lot smaller than that.

I say eat up, baby! Pass the cake! :) (Although avocados are on the "good" list for fetal development!)

[Ellen]

Prior to being pregnant with my son, I had huge weight issues, what with numbers and getting on scales. At the time I discovered I was pregnant, I hadn't been on a scale in about 7 years. Getting pregnant seemed to free up my anxiety and fears of seeing those larger numbers on the scale, as there was now a reason for it. I am happy to report that it was a great thing, I ate mostly what I wanted (except red sauce, blecch), gained about 45 pounds, and although it took a while to come off afterwards, it did eventually come off. Ever since, I have had no problems with scales or numbers on them! Good luck to you, and I hope it works out for you!

[Lut C.]

You have an inner compass? Can I borrow it some time? ;-)

[Carla Hinkle]

I gained 40 pounds with the 1st baby, 30 with the 2nd (not trying to do anything different, it just happened that way). 2nd baby was over a pound bigger than the first. Go figure.

Just so, so lovely to get to read about things like this on your blog!!!

[laughing mommy]

I remember the first day I put on maternity pants... pants with a big maternity panel that I had wanted to avoid. I kid you not, I cried because they felt so good on my belly. And for weeks afterward I enjoyed the non-binding-ness that was maternity pants. Unfortunatly I got so big at the end of my pregnancy that those roomy pants were tight. *sigh*

Oh, and hearing the heartbeat! The highlight of any maternity office visit. Good for you!

[DebbieS]

I can feel the "aaAAAaahhh" from way over here in San Diego! Don't worry about food so much. Just eat plenty of healthy things for the baby along with whatever weird things you're craving and you'll do fine. My great-grandma always said that a pregnant woman should eat whatever smells good to her because it meant it was something the baby needed. Of course she was Italian and a great cook so I'm sure everything smelled great in her kitchen! She had five healthy kids, all at home, and never set foot in a hospital until the week she died at nearly 95 years of age, so maybe she was onto something!

[Catizhere]

hahahaha, I gained over 60 lbs with each of my kids. My first was 8lb 10 oz & # 2 was 8lb 14 oz. I saw eat whatever you want. Just try to get some exercize (walking, swimming) during the pregnancy & everything will be fine.

YAY for the heartbeat!! I looked forward to that every visit.

[Brandy]

They said they may not be able to hear the heartbeat at not quite 16 weeks? Wow. I've always heard you should be able to hear it by around 10-12 weeks and my midwife was able to find our little one's at about 9 weeks. I'm just surprised that they hadn't done that before. I'm glad you got to hear it though - it's an AMAZING sound.

[-Blue]

'Scuse my Anglo Saxon but fuck that shite! I have eaten copiously and healthily with all of my pregnancies, had whopping big healthy babes, and no problems shedding the pregnancy weight (erm ... when I actually remembered I wasn't preggers and stopped eating).

I concur with the advice to keep moving: swim, walk, whatever. Makes you feel better, keeps the weight reasonable, and really helps with swelling and achey hips.

Blimey I'm SO excited for you!

[Menita]

Yay for the little pony's hoofbeats : )

[anon]

I like that...the Barrenmare is having a pony...perfect.

[Amyesq]

Aw, screw the dieting. Think about all the alcohol calories that you're NOT consuming right now. Take those and put them into whatever you like. I mean come on, you deseeeerve it. That's what I keep telling myself - I have a baby on the way! In only about five months! - and it works. Of course, the baby is coming from China, not my uterus. And I shouldn't really be gaining 5 lbs a month. Hmm... maybe I am not the best person to give pregnancy advice.

But I still do want to tell you to eat whatever you want b/c dammit you DO deserve it!

[alchemilla]

I *love* anon's comment! And agree with you Mare, that sound is magical. I bought a £60 doppler new on ebay, and it was very reassuring for all those panic moments, niggling doubts etc. I think the reason they said they might not be able to hear the heartbeat at 16 weeks (you're generally reckoned to be able to find it at home yourself by week 14) is in case the baby is in a really wierd position - or the midwife is hopeless - and they can't pick up the heartbeat. No one wants to do that to a pregnant woman.

So glad all is well. How's the pup behaving?

[MotherLawyer]

So glad to read your update. Hearing that heartbeat is wonderful, isn't it!

[marie-baguette]

LOL! After 3 awful months of constant nausea, I want to stuff my face too! But I am so badly constipated that I need to eat fibers -- fruits and veggies. Ugh. I hate these things. Anyway, go for it. I have read that studies have shown that mother eating chocolate have happier babies. Seriously!

[Stacie]

I ate to hunger, upon the advice of a perinatologist. I mostly ate healthy food, but felt free to scarf down chocolate and cookies when I wanted them. I gained 80 pounds (twins) but have lost them all. This said to say, don't worry about weight gain.

[Em]

The love for those expandable waist bands lasts long, long after the baby is born. My bub is 10-months-old and I am still wearing a fabourite pair of maternity trousers, albeit they slip down a lot.

[enigma]

I agree with Stacie. Don't worry about your weight. Most important thing at the moment is your future child.Now you can hide your figure under maternity clothing.You will have enough time to lose weight after childbirth.