Seven dwarfs at thirty eight weeks

With an estimated due date now two weeks away, here's a quick round up of my current state, both physical and emotional:

Puffy- my ankles are OK-ish but my fingers have turned into mini-sausages. This post is being typed by baby kielbasas. Also, the carpal tunnel, which had been held at bay for a few months, has returned with a vengeance.  I can barely grip anything and there is a shooting pain in my left wrist. Furthermore, my feet have expanded.  I had been told that, during pregnancy, your shoes may no longer fit (i.e. due to loosening of the ligaments)- but I confess to being wholly in denial about that one.  Until recently when the reality became inescapable. Now the only thing that I can wear are my formerly too-big Birkenstocks, which makes me feel sort of dorky and clumsy.   

Sleepy- I go to bed about 11 o'clock, exhausted- but can't fall asleep.  Toss & turn for hours, then get up to wander around the house.  Fingers too swollen for knitting (see puffy, above.) Drink glass of milk, stare out the window looking for rogue foxes rifling through the rubbish bins.  Finally doze off about 4am and would happily sleep until noon, except I am invariably woken up at the usual time by the dog, the doorbell or the phone. Sometimes, like today, all three at once.

Weepy- I attribute this to hormones and sleep deprivation (see sleepy, above). Yesterday, I sat at the computer looking at old photographs and listening to music with a steady stream of tears down my face. This morning I sat for about twenty minutes halfway up the stairs, crying about absolutely nothing. Then I wandered into the baby's room, running my hands over all the nice things; with a lump in my throat. On days like today, the horrid, persistent dread takes me by the throat- that the baby won't come home and will never see this nursery, and who's going to deal with removing all the stuff?  Then I cry some more.

Sartorially challenged.  I was fairly restrained in the buying of maternity clothes, and consequently, having worn the same things over and over and over and over and over for the last six months, I am now sick to death of the sight of certain items. Also, even the most forgiving of expandable waistbands is now under stress- I feel like cutting a hole for my head in the dining room tablecloth and being done with it.

Dopey-  brain like a sieve.  Short term memory shot to hell. Have to write down everything or I will forget. Coupled with a vague spaceyness (see sleepy, above), I am slightly afraid to go out in public (including driving), in case I accidentally do something dumb like omitting to leave the parking brake on or wander into a lamppost.

Ready-  while I can say while that I have (for the most part) loved being pregnant, I am now firmly moving into the headspace of wanting to get the show on the road. Except ideally it would be probably be preferable to wait until my parents arrive next Wednesday. Not to mention until, um, Friday when E. gets back from an unavoidable business trip.  But tick, tick, tick.  I do have the sense of now being at the airport terminal, bags checked, hanging around the gate, anticipating boarding call any time. 

Happy- burbling somewhere underneath all the above, I am actually happy. Even if I have forcibly to remind myself of that during some of the lesser moments (see sleepy, weepy, puffy, etc. above).

On a separate note- I will try, if at all possible, to later respond to Forever Lurking Margaret's question (see comments, last post) before Botany arrives- if only because I love the name "Forever Lurking Margaret" too much not to.  Even if I have to type with my sausage thumbs.

Comments

[Anne]

Nearly there!!! So excited for you!!! Sorry about the puffiness, lack of sleep, and carpal tunnel, though, those suck.

I also liked being pregnant, but by my last two weeks of pregnancy, I was so demoralized trying to tie my own shoes that I had my husband do it for me. I read somewhere that the physical pains of pregnancy peak (sorry for the unintentional alliteration there...) by the last few weeks to get you mentally prepared to get the damn thing out of there already!

[Amyesq]

Oddly, most of your symptoms are ones that I am sharing, 1-3 days out from seeing my baby's face. Quite interesting to see this experiment of PG mom vs. Adoptive mom and how the prenatal time is the same. Thankfully I have less of the puffiness, although not none, as I have sympathetically gained at good 15-18 lbs of non-pregnancy weight in the last seven months. And the sleeping... who can sleep? We are going to see our babies' faces very soon! So much to think about! I don't have the big bump to contend with, I know that can put the kibosh on finding a comfy sleep position. But the summer heat, lack of A/C and wanting to get up to rush to the computer VERY early every morning to check for updates on referrals.

And sitting in our babies' rooms. Isn't it awe inspiring but also terrifying? You have the fear of not bringing the baby home and my fear is the same - or rather having some hitch disrupt the process so that something goes wrong. Of course both our fears are based on things going wrong in the past, so they are very understandable.

And ready. You use the metaphor of being at the airport with your bags checked. And here I am literally packing bags!

I probably should have sent this to you in an email because it seems rather personal for me, for both of us. But please add scatterbrained to the list of my symptoms.

I am SO excited for us!

[Carla Hinkle]

I remember the last 2 weeks before my 2nd daughter was born -- couln't sleep, couldn't eat (baby taking up all the space, stomach squashed into some tiny spot with no room for food), resigned to waddling ... oh yes, I was ready. Hooray for you!

[mm]

Forgive me for citing a Celine Dion song, but It's All Coming Back to me NOW! Last year at this time, I was so freaked, so miserable and yet so begrudgingly happy. Oh yes, and so very, very (and did I mention very) puffy. And now I sit, still begrudgingly happy... this time for someone else (that would be you). Hang in there. The best is yet to come.

[Tonya]

Oh yes, to all the above. Especially the dopey, wherein I backed into a lamppost late in my last pregnancy. Oof, that was not a happy sum to pay for car repairs, and was I ever angry at myself over that one!

I'm so very excited for you to meet your wee bairn!

[Lucia]

I wish you the best of luck. x

[Bittermama]

Sooooooo close now!

Sadly, most of those symptoms will hang around for a while yet. Some of them for years, I hear. Although my carpal tunnel was much better almost immediately, my shoes still don't fit four years after my first pregnancy (I really need to suck it up and buy more new ones at this point, huh?) and the sieve-brain is still a problem, though it waxes and wanes now.

Those days of sweet anticipation and walking around with a lump in your throat are unforgettable.

I'm so excited to be reading your birth story soon (though hopefully not before the hubs returns from that business trip!).

[p74]

I didn't have carpal tunnel while preggers but got it from pushing so hard to get the baby out, which was an unexpected outcome to the whole thing (and the pushing didn't work incidentally, still needed an episiotomy ...)

All I can say on the expectation front is, try to act as if your due date is two weeks after it actually is. Impossible, I know, but try ...

[Lut C.]

I can imagine the nursery being a bit intimidating at times. I catch myself eying the boxes of baby clothing warily sometimes.

Hopefully the baby won't make you wait too long!

[thalia]

I can totally empathise with wanting out of maternity clothes, even though I'm 6 weeks behind you. There are 2 pairs of black trousers that are DEFINITELY hitting the waste bin as soon as possible.

Am very excited to hear about your imminent meeting with your daughter.

[alchemilla]

So - is E back yet? And may Botany therefore get cracking? I am so excited and so happy for you all. Will check obsessively.

[millie]

You are really so close. I can't wait to get to the fairy princess part.

[sweetisu]

HOLY MOLY I went off for a while (a long while) of not reading and here you are, DAYS away from having your baby! I'm so excited for you guys. Perhaps the baby will share a birthday with me, and Hulk Hogan -- this Friday. ;)

So good to read your update again.