Stringing up the Christmas lights

The title of this post comes from E., who just now ordered me to "stop what I am doing immediately" and help him string up a set of lights over the window sill. Heh.

It's a last minute attempt to inject some festive cheer in an otherwise a slightly toned-down Christmas. There are some presents in the living room, but no tree. There are stockings but not all that much to fill them. Thanks to E., there is a ginormous organic turkey and some other nice food; however, the meal is scheduled for late afternoon which at the moment is prime baby meltdown time and I've cautioned everyone that the shoogling tasks will need to be divided equally amongst all the adults.  But the grinch in me predicts somehow it is still going to be yours truly sitting up in the nursery with my dinner half eaten, trying to calm her down, since after all I am the one with the milky boobs.

I don't know if it's the ongoing tribulations of the sleep regression or just the excitement of having different people around to coo over her every day, but Botany's naps (or lack thereof) have gone from bad to worse.  Now she will only nap for a short time in the pram on a walk, or fitfully in my lap, nursing, after working herself into a lather.  The lying down nap-nursing is totally failing now- all she wants to do is kickykickykicky and make this very annoying "eh-eh-eh" sound, while I long to doze off. It is most frustrating. I feel like a magician who has looked into the bag of tricks to discover the rabbit is missing.

The lack of decent nappage means that by mid to late afternoon, she is generally a screamy mess. This is not much fun for anyone. I'm not quite sure how to "'fix" it, either. Unlike the night time routine, leaving her to cry for just a wee bit in the cot only results in escalating meltdown- a furious, wailing, teary baby. My mother keeps trying techniques that work on another baby in the family- for example, standing next to the cot, laying hands on her tummy. Botany just lies there looking up at her, making the "eh-eh-eh" sound.  Eventually we just give up and then inevitably she is so overtired. I'm feeling fairly rundown with a looming chest cold and reverting back to constant daily crying of the first three months is not exactly filling me with the joys.

But I don't wish this post to sound completely negative and humbuggy. I'm sure tomorrow will bring happy moments, too. It's really just another reminder to myself that parenting, like Christmas, is in reality usually not a Hallmark card, and quite often comes as a mixed bag of highs and lows.

To all of you- and to families built in whatever way you can and in whatever shape and size- I wish a very happy, safe and peaceful holiday.

Comments

[thalia]

Merry Christmas sweetie.

Do you have a sling? Have you tried to use a sling? Will she nap in a sling? It's definitely worth a try, slings will get pob to sleep when nothing else will, even if she's screamy when we put her in, after a few mins of higgling she is usually out for the count. Apologies if you've tried that already.

[May]

My colicky nonsleeper would nap in the sling if I put her in it and proceeded to vacuum the house. Our carpets have never been so clean.

[Lut C.]

I hope there's a universal baby speak translator under my Christmas tree for me. Wouldn't that be nice.

Merry Christmas to you too!

[B. Mare]

Just to clarify- yep, we have a sling (three, actually!) and I use it every day- but unlike when she was a bit younger, she generally won't nap in it unless I go out for a looong walk and sometimes not then. She likes the sling because she is up!high!where she can see!things! so I suspect that at present it contributes to her inability to switch off...

[jax]

A long time lurker - stepping out of the shadows to wish you a merry Christmas and to add my pennies worth! Botany sounds really similar to how our son was in babyhood and on a funnier note the "eh eh eh" always reminded me of "Anne" in the Little Britain series (hope you know the show)! Anyway, because he was exclusively breast fed (from the mummy tap exclusively, no expressed milk even) I came to accept that this was all part of it. Acceptance made me so much more relaxed and when I'd get upset that he was crying my husband would remind me that he's only a baby and that baby's cry! He spent the most part of his first year attached to my boob and not really having regular naps but when I stopped trying to impose them on him he was so much happier and gradually started napping as and when he needed to ... gradually leading to a good afternoon nap a day once he became mobile. Hope you don't think this is assvice but I can hear your desperation and just wanted to say hang in there, it will get better, it isn't hallmark but who wants to be a cliche anyway! Enjoy Botany's first Christmas

[Veronica]

Merry Christmas. Everytime you post about Botany I have flashbacks of my daughter. She is nearly 16mths now and a very placid Toddler, it only took her 12mths. Hang in there hun.

[luolin]

Merry Christmas.

Zeb has gone through stages of napping, not napping, napping again (never as much as when he was newborn, though) in the sling, so that trick from your bag may work again in the future.

[CJ]

Apologies if these ideas have popped up in comments on previous posts, but does she seem uncomfortable or just grizzly? If she's teething, she might sleep more easily with a dose of paracetamol. Another idea to try: pop her in the sling, cradle style (easier to hide her inside if she'll tolerate it, and cut down on the visual overstimulation), and run the vacuum. Sometimes the loud drone, the repetitive motion, and the lack of visual stimulation will do the trick for a reluctant napper.

[Becky]

Merry Christmas to you all.

If it makes you feel even slightly better, I have the same problems with sleep with my 9 month old son. Always have. Still have no workable solutions.

[Anna]

No advice from me - just sympathy, as I'm just coming out of the four month sleep weirdness with my almost seven month old. She's my second high intensity baby, so I thought I'd be able to apply all I "learned" from my first. Turns out sometimes there's just not much you can do, just wait for them to develop those particular neurons or whatever it is they do. It will end though, I'm currently on the other end of this particular tunnel.

[another karen]

"But the grinch in me predicts somehow it is still going to be yours truly sitting up in the nursery with my dinner half eaten, trying to calm her down, since after all I am the one with the milky boobs."

God, do I know how that feels. Last night, against my SPECIFIC instructions, DH allowed the dogs to bark at a visitor WE KNEW WAS COMING - AND WHO CALLED US FROM THE DRIVEWAY TO AVOID STARTING UP THE DOGS' BARKING. Little one was awake in a flash and I was left nursing her back to sleep while DH and the friend sat downstairs having a nice cup of tea and chatting. I know its not anyone's fault that I have the "milky parts," but its hard not to feel somewhat isolated and, in my worst moments, even a wee bit resentful about the whole thing. I know there's nothing anyone can do to "help me" in those situations but still, somehow, I end up annoyed in any case. On better days, I am able to step back and realize that its usually the sleep deprivation that does me in. If I can get in even just a few hours (uninterrupted and in a row), my perspective improves dramatically.

Hope your Christmas was merry. Wishing all of you the best for 2008. May all your dreams continue to come true!

Karen