I'm dreaming of Botany dreaming

I really love the idea of Christmas, but honestly- do we have to have it right now?  It seems to come at a somewhat inconvenient time.

Getting Botany to have her daily quota of proper, restorative naps has become an ongoing battle. Basically, she sucks at the whole nap thing, both in terms of frequency and duration. Why is it that I can put her down at night drowsy but awake and she will go to sleep, but during the day, there is not a hope in hell of her drifting off for a snooze?  There are basically only three ways I can get this baby to nap-sleep:

1. On my lap, after nursing. 
2. In the bed with me lying next to her, nursing.
3. Walking, with her in the pram.

None of which is very conducive to getting anything done during the day, including eating lunch, attending to personal hygiene, or dealing with the other myriad of small daily chores and duties, some of which can be left to fester on the To Do pile and others which really cannot (i.e. gas to be disconnected unless bill paid TODAY).

And regardless of method, the absolute maximum she will sleep is 45 minutes, but often less. Ka-ching! Eyes wide open, looking all around, alertalertalert!! She has zero tolerance for being wheeled around shops; I suspect the bright lights bother her a little. Nor is she wild about cafes or restaurants. Every week I attempt to go out for lunch with a couple of the other mothers in my group, and every week it is the same story. Their little darlings snooze in their prams like stunned monkeys as I try to cram a baked potato in my mouth with one hand while holding Botany on my lap with the other. 

The only silver lining in this napless cloud is that she (*furtive look over my shoulder with sign to ward off evil eye*) sleeps pretty well at night, going down with a minimum of fuss around 7pm and staying down (most nights) until the dreamfeeding at 11pm.  There's always a middle of the night feed as well anywhere between 2.30-4.30 am. I'd like to one day break the 5am barrier, but to be honest, I don't mind so much, since half the time I am awake anyway (needing to pee/find snack/pop my tricky hip/make lists in head of stuff to do).  And I feel all squishy and melty with maternal love when I see her nuzzled up against me in the dim nursery lights.

But back to the nap problem. The upshot is that it would appear that any Christmas shopping which cannot be done online in the evening is really not going to happen this year. That would be OK in theory, except that there are a couple of  items specifically requested by my nearest and dearest (clock-radio thingy, bicycle accoutrements), which I would really prefer to inspect in the flesh before plunking down my fast dwindling remaining maternity pay.  Also, as of tomorrow E. is off on a business trip abroad for a whole week, leaving me to hold the fort. I'll survive, but I am guessing it will be somewhat energy-sapping; meaning that when I finally do get a spare minute, I am going to want to lie on the sofa, floppy-limbed, watching crap telly and playing obscene Scrabulous with Anna H.* 

The consensus among the family is that we need to keep things really simple this year (and not go hog wild with presents for a four month old baby more interested in eating the wrapping paper). But neither do I want her first Christmas to go by without at least some acknowledgment that it's magical that she is here to share it with us. So at some point, I need to find a spare five minutes to get down into the garage, dig out the tree and the box of decorations (hopefully clearly marked "Chrimbo things") and make an effort to find my inner elf.  And dream of how nice to would be to find a couple months' worth of naps in our stockings on Christmas morning...   

* Your move, by the way.

Comments

[Carla Hinkle]

I have had 2 babies that didn't nap for more than 45 minutes for many, many months -- and usually while being held. With the first I went crazy trying to "fix" her, with no success ... so with the 2nd I just gave up and went with it.

I assume you haven't had any luck with a sling, Baby Bjorn or other baby carrier? The Bjorn about saved my life both times.

[May]

My daughter's naps doubled in length when we had visitors, and so we moved her bassinet into the master closet for a few days. (No windows.) Have you tried super blackout blinds in her room?

[Stephanie]

I have a seven-month old infant, and this post describes him exactly when he was four months old. Currently he naps three times a day, mostly without being held now, though he still usually requires nursing to fall asleep. His naps are still on the short side (45 mins), but the fact that I can now put him in his crib and he stays asleep makes up for it. Hopefully Botany will follow in Phineas' footsteps and her napping will improve.

[cass]

Yup, we had short naps for a long time here, too. Will she sleep in the car? We sometimes used to be able to drive someplace (nap) and then do something (shop) while carrying babies and then drive again (more nap). I'm guessing since you didn't mention it that it doesn't work for her, nor the sling/bjorn/whatever, but I'll bring them all up just in case.

[Veronica]

Botany sounds very similar to my daughter. Only my daughter got an ear infection at 14w and never slept well at night again.

I don't have any advice, I let Amy do all her day sleeps either in her pram, or on my lap until she was about 12mths old. At 12mths, something clicked inside her brain and she started staying down of a day for between 1.5 - 2.5 hrs (in her bed), which isn't much good to you at the moment.

[swissmiss]

My oldest (now almost 3) was like this. Never did find the solution. I took many walks. Like Veronica's daughter, he did seem to figure things out when he got older, and from when he was about one until 2 1/2 (when he sadly grew out of the nap altogether) he suddenly started taking 2 hour naps. But I don't think it was anything I did; he just got there on his own.

Do you swaddle? I've discovered swaddling with my newborn and I'm kicking myself every day that I didn't think of it with my first.

[B. Mare]

In answer to a couple of comments-

Swaddling is out- she hates it and always has.

Blackout blinds- check. There is a street light next to her window so I got them for night but have tried for daytime too- no joy.

She used to nap in the Bjorn or sling when she was a newborn, but not anymore.

Driving around not really an option here, as I don't have the car during the day and anyway, the price of petrol is crazy in this country, so it would cost a fortune.

Wheee!

[Courtney]

You've just described my nearly 3 month old. Nights, no problem, but during the day he'll only sleep on my lap (wakes and cries if I try to move him) or in the ergo. My parents visited in Nov. and decided I needed a swing. It took a few weeks, but he now tolerates it and if he's sleepy it'll put him to sleep. I feel badly he doesn't love it, but at least I shower and eat lunch. Yesterday I even made bread.

Jealous of your mom friends!

[Sue]

HI

Have you tried background white noise...? Or Music - think Bach is good?

Oh yes you don't get time to do much until you can plonk them in front of a DVD for a while (er when they are 2 ish...)

Sue

[Suzanne]

I had the same issue, my baby did relatively well at night but naps were awful. Around 12 weeks I just started putting her in the crib for naps when I noticed drowsy cues from her. Up to that point she would only nap when someone was holding her. In the early weeks she often napped 30 minutes and then woke. I just kept at it and when she was about 4 months old when she woke at the 30 minute mark (and was crabby) I left her to see what she'd do. To my surprise she got herself back to sleep after about 10 minutes. She'd have an off day where she would cry and could not get herself back to sleep but overall it just got better. Now she's 6 months old and will regularly nap 1-2 hours twice a day.

With her a lot if it was timing - getting her in bed when she was tired but not overtired. If she got overtired it was a struggle - nursing her, walking, etc. to calm her down. She only had 1.5-2 hours of wakefulness before she was ready to sleep again.

[julieb]

it seems that the napless baby is one of those well kept secrets [along with all the well kept secrets of pregnancy and childbirth that, were word to get out, would decimate the world's birth rate]. You may just have to face it; Botany may not be a napper and likely may never be. Hopefully the heavenly night sleeping helps make up for it.
Our daughter was 4 months old last Christmas - the best present we got for her was a $2 pair of fairy wings - she wasn't at all interested, but it made all the rest of us go ooooh and aaaah.

[Tam]

My ten week old naps beautifully. However, our evenings are a relentless cycle of cluster feeding, vomiting and tired grizzling until well past midnight. I think I'd rather have the baby who went to sleep at 7 pm...

[Sarah]

I second (third or fourth at this point) the idea of black out blinds or curtains. It is often the signal the baby needs for deeper sleep.

[Anna H.]

no advice, just trying to come up with the most suitable obscenity (it must be just right!)

xxoo

[expat]

You know, the 45 minute thing will fix itself, around six-ish months (seven months for my first). I'll be waiting for the post announcing the first long nap.