Whoosh

Holy crap, I am getting married on Saturday. S-a-t-u-r-day, as in two days from now, only it is already nine pm here by now, so slightly less than that. Saturday! 

There are many and varied things to freak out about , but instead I am taking the excellent advice of my wise friend L. We had lunch at the end of last week and she took one look at my slightly panicked and wide-eyed expression before immediately prescribing two glasses of wine every night, to be taken with a repeated "zen whooshing motion" made about the neck and face. And you know what, it's kind of working! Never mind that the window works were only finally finished today about an hour before I had to collect Botany and the whole place smells like paint and I jammed my finger trying to shut the top pane. Never mind that I keep receiving these random emails from the venue with questions that really should have been answered about a month ago. Oh and never mind that my mother and Knox's mother have fallen out very badly, like the aftermath of a small nuclear explosion, which should make for a lovely current of thinly disguised tension on the day and well...for the rest of our lives, apparently. 

Zen whooshing motion. Wine. Repeat.

Knox and I generally get along extremely well considering the large level of stress we often consume on a daily/weekly basis. The one thing we quite regularly disagree about is Botany and certain aspects of her upbringing. The early morning wakings continue to be a source of friction; he is adamant that the reason she wakes up at the crack of dawn is because she wants me and more specifically, my boobs. I remain slightly sceptical about this; my view is that she usually wakes up because she can only sleep ten hours at any given stretch, and at that point, she's just done with sleeping. If she was so tired the night before that she went to bed at 7.30, we're doomed. 

Having agreed we needed some hard data on the matter, we kept a sleep chart for over a month, mapping wake up times and nap times and go-to-sleep times. What it indicated was a wake-up time varying from between 5.30 am to 6.30, but on average 10 hours a night and that Botany is in fact in the normal amounts of sleep ranges for a child of her age. 

What it didn't show is that some mornings she wakes up and chats to herself quite happily for 15 minutes before calling me. Or that some mornings, she actually didn't ask to nurse at all, and I managed to get her out the door to nursery before she remembered it was something that she wants. Or that if Knox is here and gets up with her, she's quite happy to accept that Mummy is still sleeping and to leave me in peace until I drag my carcass out of bed an hour later. All of which to my mind somewhat disproves the "she wants boob, hence wakes up" theory. But Knox is hard to convince on the subject- he thinks that even if she gets it later on in the morning, it's an incentive to wake up. I'm trying to take his opinion into account but the only way to test his theory is to proceed to full scale weaning and frankly, that is sooo not something I wanted to tackle before the wedding. The issue has dragged on and invariably we end up hissing at each about it at 5.30 in the morning when we hear Botany stirring.

I did have one other major realisation as I studied the chart data. There is a myth (largely perpetuated by my parents) that Botany "requires less sleep than I do". What dawned on me is that this is quite untrue. The reality is that to be at my absolute best, I would ideally have roughly the same amount of sleep as Botany. Of course, unless I go to bed at the same time as she does, that obviously isn't going to happen. 

The wedding shoes are called "Jasmine" and I bought them at Topshop, for those who were wondering. They also come in a rather fetching red colour, though mine are a kind of strange steel grey-blue. Of course, the problem with getting anything from that store is that they change their stock about every thirty seconds (so we can all stay "bang on trend!")

By the time I post next, I will (hopefully) be in a state of married bliss; we're headed to Paris for a quick honeymoon but not until next weekend, so if at all possible I will bring you an update of sorts as to how the day went. And if she'll deign to hold still for more than ten seconds, a picture of Botany in her dress (at least, from the back).  

Comments

[Christa]

I nursed for a long time and my babies have slept with us until...well, until they didn't want to anymore. So, I am not a useful data point (baby wakes when I do, unless I can exit the bed with the quiet moves of a ninja). But I have many friends who nursed and then quit at about a year and their babies all wake up 5:30-6:30. And it doesn't seem to matter what time they go to sleep, either. We've stayed at one friends house for an overnight celebration of the New Year and after going to bed very, very late, their kids still woke up by 6 AM. So, I vote for the idea that this is just the time that her body tells her to wake up.

Have a great wedding day, good luck and congratulations! So happy for you!

[Hairy Farmer Family]

Harry's wake-up is frequently a little prior to 5.30am, and John & I cannot stop hissing at each other about the management of it, either. I am pretty braindead at that point in the morning, which doesn't help at all. And yes, speaking as the family dormouse, I would like about the same amount of sleep as the wean-refusing Harry. Trying to manage everything you are usually managing AND not getting enough sleep AND organising a wedding AND having a mother & MIL to referee... well, my hat is even more off to you than usual. And it's usually pretty well doffed!

[a]

The only thing that has stopped my daughter from waking up between 5:30 and 6:30 is dropping her afternoon nap. Personally, I like the afternoon nap - it breaks up my day. But, her father would rather she sleep later.

Good luck with your wedding, and congratulations. I hope the moms decide to declare a truce and minimize your stress. I hope you enjoy Paris!

[Betty M]

Good luck for the wedding and hope the weather is Clement.

Mine wake at 6:15 without fail. Kids just get up early. It's the ones who sleep till 8 that are the aberation in my view.

[Anna]

Best wishes for a wonderful wedding day!

[Melissa]

My son usually wakes up a full hour before I go in and get him. I let him keep a bunch of books and (safe) toys in his crib, and between those and his crib aquarium, he amuses himself just fine. Of course, there's hardly room for him in the crib, but he doesn't seem to mind and I certainly enjoy the extra sleep.

Hope you have a fabulous wedding and honeymoon!

[Tor]

Good Luck and Congratulations!

I vote it's just her sleep-personality. If she did wake later then she'd be going to bed later and you'd lose the alone-time you have then - which is what my son does.

The boob is an excuse and not he problem. I don't think there even is a problem except for Knox getting annoyed - but IMO him becoming part of the family is even more reason NOT to force weaning on Botany before she is ready, because the suckling is more about bonding than sustenance at this age, and she's had alot of emotional and logistical upheaval in her life.

(My son self-weaned way to early, and yet we are having similar friction here but regarding co-sleeping. If it's not one thing it's something else. Botany is slowly & naturally self-weaning - if you don't need to force it faster then why bother? You know it won't make her magically sleep in. The 2 issues aren't really connected except in Knox's mind.)

[Sara]

I think that sometimes we just look for someone to blame when things are not to our satisfaction, and our spouse/partner is the nearest target. My husband also spent the last six months or so complaining that breastfeeding was the reason that our daughter is such a bad sleeper. Only very recently has he finally admitted that he was wrong. It's just an easy thing for men to blame when children are children, since they don't have the boobs, so it's clearly not THEIR fault that way. I hope you two can at least agree to disagree about it.

So exciting about your wedding! Congrats hon!

[After Words]

Best of luck to all of you. Can't wait to hear all about it.

[thalia]

Will be thinking of you on saturday.

The sleep thing is hard and makes people CRAZY. So you need to cut some slack to everyone involved, especially yourself. She won't keep waking like this forever, or, if she is still an early riser in a year or so, you can train her to get herself up and into the living room, turn on the tv carefully preset to cbeebies, and let her get on with it.

[Juno]

My son woke up at 5:30am to nurse. When weaned at age one he woke up at 5:30 for a bottle. At age two he woke up at 5:30 and quietly drew on the wall in permanent marker. Sometime between age 2 and 3 he started sleeping in until 6:30. We have thus far been unable to get him to sleep later for love or TV. Blackout shades helped a bit. Some kids just wake up early.

Happy wedding!

[another karen]

oh my gosh, how exciting for all of you - all the best!!!!

karen

[Cibele]

I am so excited for you, have fun! I can't wait to see pics... I will try to follow your friend's advice: Zen whooshing motion. Wine. Repeat.

[Redhead]

Another one here all excited for you. Hope you have a fantastic day - tomorrow! And Paris! I had my honeymoon there - can highly recommend it :)
And agree with the others. It doesn't sound like she is waking for boob, especially when she is happy to wait for it or can also forget about it. With my son we had some success with a later bedtime (when the clocks changed) that made him wake at a more reasonable time, that and less daytime sleep.
All the best for a great wedding day tomorrow.. and more importantly for a Happy Ever After.

[spoiledonlychild]

Assvice ahead: My daughter also had a wakeup around 5-5:30, but maybe because I am so not a morning person, I just considered it a night waking. I would nurse her and put her straight back to bed. Eventually, for other reasons, we did cry it out, and that waking went away and she slept regularly until 7:30 or so. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't think anytime before 6-6:30 is a reasonable time for any human to have to get up, so I would treat it as a night waking. And I think that, whether you wean or not (I do not think your boobs are the issue), Botany is old enough to understand some basic rules. Like maybe a little light on a timer, and she's allowed to get out of her crib when that light comes on but not before. Of course, it's possible none of this will work worth a damn, and you may have to be willing to listen to her cry for a few days. Good luck.

[susie]

My son nursed for only six weeks but still wakes between 5:30 and 6:30 three years later. Some kids (just like grownups) are just early risers.

Congratulations on your wedding! Yay!

[Melissa]

Congrats on the wedding! Have a blast.

As far as Botany, I think you just have an early riser there, sorry Knox.

[Michele A]

I wish you the very best! http://wp.me/pBaIO-1M
Best!
M

[MsPrufrock]

Goodness, this wedding has snuck up on me. Tomorrow? Really? Best of luck for a wonderful day. I bet you and Botany will look gorgeous.

Yay!

[Lut C.]

Have a wonderful wedding day!

[Pamplemousse]

Good luck for today, my friend and congrats to you both! The weather looks like it will stay fair, albeit a little windy. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!!

[Stephanie]

Happy Wedding Day!

[another karen]

posting again just to say i'm thinking of you guys today - mazel tov!!!

karen

[RocketGrl]

Happy Wedding Day!

[Lucrezia]

I've been lurking the past couple days waiting for an update, lol. I guess if she had updated right away, that would have been a sign that the honeymoon wasn't going that great.