I really do want to get on with writing the next chapter of the birth story but we're slightly off the rails here just now. Colt seems to have three main operating modes:
* awake and cooing/smiling delightfully
* awake and screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaming.
Guess which one he does most often- and primarily all night long? Uh huh.
After trying all the normal stuff- you know, over the counter remedies, expensive mail order probiotic drops, swaddling, a swing, white noise, various feeding positions, wearing him in a sling, a pacifer, goat sacrifice- I finally bowed to the inevitable and cut all dairy, soy and wheat out of my diet in an elimination experiment. That was a week ago. It's made a bit of difference, perhaps, but not much so far enough to be sure it's an allergy/intolerance problem. Given that I am starving continually from breastfeeding, it has also taken a certain amount of Herculean willpower not to break down and guzzle a entire box of chocolates daily. I miss hot buttered toast like a mournful jilted lover. I am miserably unsatisfied with fruit.
Yesterday was our 6 week baby check, with both the health visitor and the GP. Naturally, Colt was in top form at these appointments- he smiled gummily at the health visitor, waving his arms adorably and made sweet baby noises (he has the most delicious dove-like coo). However, my GP is a good listener and notwithstanding evidence to the contrary in front of her, she didn't dismiss our concerns. What she did do was prescribe infant gaviscon on the basis it may be silent reflux.
My instinct is that it is not reflux. He does have some occasional symptoms-there is a bit of back arching, for example- but he is quite happy to lie flat much of the time, he feeds well, and he doesn't spit up much at all. But then again, I could be wrong. He does get a hoarse little cry sometimes when he is full blown screaming mode, and he stiffens like a plank rather than bunches up. He does like being upright in the sling. In all cases, he releases bullet-like farts, which make him cry and then seem to ease the suffering. So we tried the infant gaviscon anyway last night in a frantic bid to calm him. I had no expressed milk left in the fridge and wasn't much up for trying to pump any at 1am, so we stupidly adminstered it with a syringe which was was a complete nightmare and left him with a distended belly full of wind with no relief whatsoever. We might try it again in a bottle, if I can bear it.
In short, it's pretty much hell and we don't know why. Initially I was quite composed about it all but after night upon night of virtually no sleep- I am just freaking exhausted. We tried at one stage to take it in shifts though the night but Knox 's sleep cycle is very easily thrown out of kilter. It reached the point where he was staying up until dawn, then needing to sleep during the day to recover- which is not exactly much help either as I still have to get up and deal with Botany most days. And I would like a nap too, if someone could please take the baby off my chest for an hour. Knox is also finding it harder than I am to remember this is probably just a stage which will eventually pass soon. I have virtually no reserves left to console him as well. And right now, relief is taking its slow and not terribly sweet time.